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What should I do about this?

(85 Posts)
Ohbollocksandballs Sun 28-Dec-14 10:44:42

After last disastrous relationship I posted here asking for advice, and advice I got! So now I'm back again.

Partner works away, he was back home Christmas Eve-the afternoon of the 27th. His family are scattered around and he does not speak to the majority of them, apart from his sisters.

Anyway we had planned that he would spend quite a bit of time here with me, as it was my first Christmas as a SP, and DS was at his dad's. However Christmas Day night, he went out in the afternoon and got bladdered, didn't hear from him till midday boxing day, when he was full of apologies etc. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, then he did the same thing Boxing Day too, to an even worse extent, causing trouble with his ex, various people in the pub (this is what he's admitted to). Naturally I was pretty pissed off, especially when the morning after he was adamant he'd done nothing wrong. Told him that I wasn't prepared to put up with his shit.

He went back working away yesterday, I didn't see him before he went, aside from Christmas Eve day, and Boxing Day during the day. However he called last night saying how sorry he is, how stupid he's been to upset me, how I am good for him, how guilty and down he feels about it, and that isn't how he usually is etc.

Part of me wants to believe it, but twice in a row? Really? Good people of MN, what do I do?

woowoo22 Sun 28-Dec-14 10:46:54

Dump him. Too much drama.

Ohbollocksandballs Sun 28-Dec-14 10:49:17

I was hoping that would be the advice. I'm one of those who would honestly do anything for an easy life.

However I just feel awful because of how sweet and apologetic he's been. On the other hand he was hardly thinking of me when he was being a Prick (with a capital P)

ThePinkOcelot Sun 28-Dec-14 11:18:19

A great big "dump him" from me too! He obviously doesn't give a shit, to go out and do the same again the day after!

CleanLinesSharpEdges Sun 28-Dec-14 11:20:15

Dump him, fresh start for new year.

Ohbollocksandballs Sun 28-Dec-14 11:22:52

Exactly. I can't help but think the niceness is cause he's feeling a bit rubbish and lonely cause he's away. Ds's dad did the same when we first got together and he got worse and worse and became incredibly EA with it too. Not the slightest bit interested in being in that situation again.

tippytap Sun 28-Dec-14 11:27:06

Dump him!

Sorry

pictish Sun 28-Dec-14 11:27:07

Oh good grief, dump him. He's a trouble making drunkard, who ditched you to be on your own over Christmas, to satisfy his rampant arseholery.

Continue at your own peril missus.

Ohbollocksandballs Sun 28-Dec-14 11:28:55

fgrin dump it is!

TheyThinkImCool Sun 28-Dec-14 11:30:31

Do you still want to be with him? I wouldn't class what he has done as a "dump-able offence"

pictish Sun 28-Dec-14 11:33:50

The niceness is to keep you hooked. If any of what he says is true he would've been with you on Christmas day, not out pissing it up against the wall while you sat on your own.

And I don't like "you're good for me" as a supposed compliment. It has connotations of making you responsible for him. Fuck off.

EhricJinglingHisBallsOnHigh Sun 28-Dec-14 11:34:02

He's a dickhead with a drink problem. He has shown you that he will let you down in favour of drink, mates and stupid behaviour. How long have you been with him and how long between the end of your last relationship and this one?

JaceyBee Sun 28-Dec-14 11:34:10

I notice you refer to him as your partner, when if this is your first Xmas as a SP you can't have been with him a year? He sounds more like a casual boyfriend to me, do you think he sees the relationship as less serious than you do?

Either way, he sounds like a twat. Another vote for dump here!

Sandthorn Sun 28-Dec-14 11:35:06

What a dick! He had a chance to make up for the first time he let you down, and he blew it in exactly the same way. Unless you want to spend the rest of your life listening to apologies, cut your losses now.

Ohbollocksandballs Sun 28-Dec-14 11:37:20

Maybe partner was the wrong word to use. But I have/had no doubts about how serious he took it, he has always been the more forward/open one.

Pictish- exactly what I'm thinking. Actions speak louder than words.

Sickoffrozen Sun 28-Dec-14 11:48:12

If you want a lifetime of this keep him, if not get rid.

BuzzardBirdRoast Sun 28-Dec-14 11:51:46

He thinks you would be daft enough to stay with him after that behaviour? Can you imagine how he will treat you next year if you stayed with him?

Hope you don't chip your toenail polish too much when you kick his sorry ass back to singledom.

Wishyouwould Sun 28-Dec-14 11:52:19

When someone shows you who they are believe them.

And he sounds like a royal pain in the arse. Dump.

ElfriqueTheSantaHelpingLizard Sun 28-Dec-14 11:55:36

Partners should be good for each other. The fact that someone feels you're good for them is no reason to build a relationship with them.

I don't think you need any advice, I think you just want affirmation and support and so far it's unanimous.

Ohbollocksandballs Sun 28-Dec-14 12:22:36

Affirmation and support is what I was looking for. I knew that the best option was get rid I just wanted it confirming really.

ElfriqueTheSantaHelpingLizard Sun 28-Dec-14 12:25:51

Then best of luck OP and a very Happy 2015 to you thanks

Ohbollocksandballs Sun 28-Dec-14 12:29:01

Thankyou, the same to you and yours flowers

Ohbollocksandballs Sun 28-Dec-14 16:28:11

Just had a text, he is calling tonight, will update further when we have spoken!

Vivacia Sun 28-Dec-14 16:44:56

Good Luck OP.

I wouldn't class what he has done as a "dump-able offence" Seriously? Firstly, I wouldn't stick with anyone who goes out showing himself up around town after a couple of drinks. Secondly, I can't think of one boyfriend I've had who hasn't wanted to spend every minute of Christmas Day with me.

inlectorecumbit Sun 28-Dec-14 17:17:50

Dump him-nothing he can say or do excuses his behaviour.
He is full of apologies now because he works away and wants someone waiting for him back home. Don't let that fool be you.
He is just not good enough for you and seem that his preferred relationship is aclohol.

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