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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Relationships advice

7 replies

Noor123 · 27/12/2014 22:30

Hello, I have never written anything like this before but, I could do with an advice. Basically I have been married for 4 years but been with my husband for 10 years we have 2 kids together, I have always loved and always cared for him. The problem is I don't think he cares about me anymore (come to think of it I don't think he ever did) when we had our first child he cheated on me when DA was only 4 months I only found out as I got std from him he denied it first but later confessed saying he was under the influence of alcohol. It was very hard for me but I forgave him. The problem is I work long hours I never have time for myself and I pay for absolutely everything he never paid for a thing since we been together,he tells me I'm ugly sometimes and he has pushed and shoved me at times even when I was pregnant. He has told me I'm lazy even though I work average 60 hours a week plus do the house chores. He tells I should just work 7 days a week as I make too much mess when I'm home. The worst thing is he embarrasses me in front of my friend by telling them I'm a crap wife and mother. He attacked me once infront of my child and now she often remembers and asks why daddy was"killing mummy"Sad I have done everything for him however I get nothing in return. He is a great dad but I feel like walking on eggshells and constantly worry about upsetting him. Even though I know this is wrong I don't want to brak up my family and worry for kids and I don't want to be a single parent.

OP posts:
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Twinklebells · 27/12/2014 22:59

you need Women's Aid and to report him to the police. Being a single parent is the only option - you cannot let him behave like this in front of your child. He is not a great dad - he is just sponging off you.

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Lagoonablue · 27/12/2014 23:12

Throw him out. Seek help. He is abusive. I think you know this. He is not a great dad is he? He attacked you in front of your child.

You need to leave him.

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Cabrinha · 27/12/2014 23:17

How is he a great dad when he has made a child scared that he will kill their mother?
I'd say in the top 10 worst things you can do to a child, that's in at about number 5.
What an absolute fucking bastard.
Your poor child.

And poor you.

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NameChange30 · 27/12/2014 23:18

He is abusive. You have to leave him. Please call 0808 2000 247, this is the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline. They will be able to advise and reassure you.
Good luck Flowers

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CalleighDoodle · 28/12/2014 00:01

He is not a great dad. He is an abusive arse hold. Take the advice above and Good luck x

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GelfBride · 28/12/2014 00:06

Abusive cocklodger OP. Get rid.

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BuzzardBirdRoast · 28/12/2014 00:20

Second Women's Aid and Police. You and your daughter need protecting. You are teaching her to stay with abusive men. Leave.

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