Families!!

[steviel]

Why does Christmas always bring the worst out in some people?
Would appreciate any advice on this....family came for lunch yesterday, Mum, Sister, younger brother and girlfriend. My younger brother as usual drinks to much and completely ruined the day by arguing with his lovely girlfriend and then when I asked him to stop as he was swearing in front of my two young children, then verbally attacked me.
My Mum whom has spoilt him takes his side, accused me of ruining the day so consequently they all leave early. I am saddened by this as they have no respect for myself, husband and children, why can't they behave and bite their tongues? ??

[Joysmum]

Christmas doesn't always bring out the worse in people.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

Would suggest you raise your own bar a lot higher with regards to them, your own boundaries re them are far too low.

Your younger brother is being enabled by his mother, enabling though helps no one least of all him.

You are not the scapegoat form heir inherent ills and next Christmas should be spent without any of them being present in your home. If they cannot or will not behave they do not see you.

[cafesociety]

Your brother is a drinker. Drink, indulgence and a lack of self control brings out the worst in drinkers, not Christmas. He sounds spoilt argumentative and can't hold his drink. Don't invite him again.

No one would swear and act like that, and verbally abuse me in front of my family. Change things next year and have a pleasant family Christmas without inviting people who are rude to you and your children.

Go to theirs. Don't put up with abusive behaviour on your own territory.

[steviel]

Thanks for the comments, yes he is spoilt and very argumentative.
I think we will think twice before inviting him again. X

[Nomama]

A hard conversation with your mum might be in order.

Tell her why you were upset and that you will simply not allow that behaviour in front of your DCs. Tell her it is up to her, if she can accept that and support you when your brother starts, all well and good. But if she "chooses to support his bad behaviour regardless of who it upsets" then neither of them will be invited for lunch, any lunch, again.

She chose how to bring up her family, it is up to you how to bring up yours.

Tell your brother he is a complete pratt and will not be welcome in you home to repeat his abominable behaviour, you are putting your kids before his drunken temper tanties.

Make sure your other sibs know about it, that you have indeed delivered an ultimatum, based on how mum/brothers behaviour affects your kids.

Then step back and let them all work it out for themselves.

[YellowTulips]

What nomama said - I think her post is spot on.

[KarlosKKrinkelbeim]

well said nomama. I think issuing a firm ultimatum and standing by it is probably the kindest thing you can do for your brother right now. Your mother could do with a good talking to about the harm she is doing him by enabling his behaviour as well.