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Feeling confused

(12 Posts)
jvandraa Fri 26-Dec-14 17:01:18

Three months ago I confronted my husband with the proof I had that he was using hookers. It turns out to be much worse than I initially thought. its been going on for three years (so he says but that could really be a lie too) and it has happened around the world, wherever he has travelled and it is double digits (not sure on the exact number but it is lots). He says it is my fault, I want to scream. He wants me to get over it because he says he won't do it anymore and he wants sex on a very regular basis, as though nothing has happened. How do I get passed this? When will my angry feelings go away? When will my feelings of disgust be manageable?

alicemalice Fri 26-Dec-14 17:03:32

I don't think it will go away while you're still with him.

warysara Fri 26-Dec-14 17:06:26

The problem is that the trust has gone. If he travels quite a bit for work, I would imagine you are going to be constantly worried that he is having fun with hookers.

Great if you can get past it, but most people cannot.

Twitterqueen Fri 26-Dec-14 17:07:08

Um.. How - just tell me how - this is your fault exactly???

Of course he's lying. Of course he will do it again. Why on earth would you want to stay with this man? You will not (and should not) get past this. Your angry feelings should not and will not go away. Your feelings of disgust will never be manageable.

Sorry - harsh truths, but the fact that this has gone for so long, with so many girls, he is blaming you and feels no guilt ..... Cut and run asap.

MiniTheMinxLovesMinxPies Fri 26-Dec-14 21:33:19

Oh, yes I think you should manage that feeling of disgust and channel it in to kicking this excuse for a human being out of your life. Stay disgusted while you find a good solicitor.

Vivacia Fri 26-Dec-14 21:36:06

Why would you want to get past this?

Morticia45 Fri 26-Dec-14 21:52:22

'Get over it?' 'Get over it?' The man has his head up his arse! He wants regular sex with you and he's not going to do it anymore????? FFS! I am speechless, absolutely bloody speechless! He is a lying, cheating, controlling TWAT and you would be better off following Mini's advice and channeling your anger and disgust into finding a good solicitor and getting this shit out of your life!!! Btw, been in a similar position so feeling your pain! Best of luck! xx

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Fri 26-Dec-14 21:57:27

Are you asking how to stay with this low life?

The answer is don't

Hughfearnley Fri 26-Dec-14 22:04:43

You urgently need to leave this piece of shit and get tested for STIs hmm
Big hugs.

gamerchick Fri 26-Dec-14 22:06:47

My first stop would be at a clinic for a full screen.

Then process it.

alicemalice Fri 26-Dec-14 22:11:37

See, your feelings of disgust are utterly normal in the circumstances. Yet he's trying to persuade you there's something wrong with you. Awful behaviour all-round.

AnotherEmma Fri 26-Dec-14 22:19:24

Agree with all of the above. Get an STI test and a solicitor.

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