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Potentially single at 41 - end of the world?

(18 Posts)
Welshlou1 Thu 25-Dec-14 20:31:33

Particularly when you don't want to be??

Any help or advice appreciated.

lalalonglegs Thu 25-Dec-14 20:39:08

I don't think it would be the end of the world in any circumstances. Why don't you want to split up from him/her?

Welshlou1 Thu 25-Dec-14 20:50:40

I don't. I wrote a thread last night as I found some dodgy emails on her account, which turned out to be nothing serious. However, that has now led to her saying she is having cold feet with our wedding plans next year. She is saying she doesn't want to break up, but I'm seeing signs (if that makes sense)?

lalalonglegs Thu 25-Dec-14 21:29:25

Well, second thoughts about a wedding aren't super-encouraging but it is worth sorting out any issues you have before marrying. I think you need to have some very honest conversations with each other over the next few days. I didn't see your thread from yesterday but, if you said anything that you now regret, don't try to minimise it or make her share the blame.

If things can't be worked out then it's miserable but it's something you can come through and still be a happy and fulfilled person.

Good luck flowers

wallaby73 Fri 26-Dec-14 08:08:01

Just like to add that i am 41, happen to be single, just peeking out of the curtains and no, the world doesn't seem to have ended. Y'know, it's fine, plenty of time, i'm still big deal! ��

FolkGirl Fri 26-Dec-14 08:31:43

I'm 39, so close enough, and single. The world hasn't ended yet...

But, having done both, it's better to be single than married to someone who doesn't want to be married to you at any age!

Fadingmemory Fri 26-Dec-14 08:46:31

I am 61 and have been single for 14 years. I love the freedom of it - socialising lots when and with whom I want. Coming home and eating an elaborate meal or just a piece of toast. Reading late into the night if I feel like it. Friends round to eat and/or drink whenever I want. Spontaneity rules! It is so liberating not to worry about being single. It takes time to get over break-ups but longing not to be single is as much of a prison as being in an unhappy relationship.

Good luck OP, whatever happens.

Twinklebells Fri 26-Dec-14 09:35:57

Being single is better than going through with a wedding that your partner does not want. It certainly is not the end of the world either.

Justwanttomoveon Fri 26-Dec-14 10:25:31

Just echoing pp's, I'm 41 and single and would rather be alone than with someone who didn't 100%want to be with me, and no, the world didn't end when I became single, if anything the world starting turning again for me.

Dijon9054 Fri 26-Dec-14 10:39:01

Have you asked her what specifically it is she's having cold feet about?

MistAndAWeepingRain Fri 26-Dec-14 10:45:24

Bring single is certainly preferable to being married to someone who doesn't really want to be married to you.

That said, cold feet doesn't necessarily mean it's over. I think you need to have a serious conversation with her.

I'm 34 and single (divorced) and happier than I've been for ages.

NoImSpartacus Fri 26-Dec-14 17:26:49

40, single and way happier than when I was in a rubbish long term relationship. When you close one door, another always opens. My social life is better than ever, as is my career, my friendships are fantastic and at the risk of appearing shallow as a puddle, my 'middle aged' body rocks and I look and feel better than I ever have too grin

elephantspoo Fri 26-Dec-14 17:39:38

No worries at all. If you can support yourself, and aren't desperate to have a man around the house, life can be good.

Wrapdress Fri 26-Dec-14 18:01:23

I'm 51 and never married and the Earth continues to rotate on its axis.

Rioux Fri 26-Dec-14 23:53:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

quirkycutekitch Sat 27-Dec-14 00:02:10

Not at all - find someone who has no doubts!

despomum41 Sat 27-Dec-14 00:13:00

im 41 and recently become single have always supported myself to the last penny but would be nice to be spoilt every now and again

Hobbitwife001 Sat 27-Dec-14 14:51:44

Well I'm 53 and about to be single, so I hope the world doesn't end for me, and I'm welsh so doubly so! Take care. X

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