In comparison to some of the big problems on here, this question feels a bit juvenile and insignificant but I am genuinely not sure what to do.
I'm mid 30s. My confidence was knocked after coming out of an LTR with a man I thought was wonderful / sweet / honest and beyond reproach only to find out 4 years in that he was a lying, cheating nasty scumbag who ate me up and spat me out. Found out he was on sex dating websites and screwing hookers behind my back. Really bad and I was devastated. I feel really insecure over my judgement with men even though that bad relationship was over 14 months ago and I've had counselling.
I have been seeing a guy for 4 - 5 months who I really like, and who says he really likes me. I can't fault him when we were together although I hear from him that I pushed him away a lot and I know he felt concerned I wasn't over my past BF.
I moved away recently, and I ended the relationship before I felt because although I liked him a lot and would have liked a future, I felt like a long distance relationship wouldn't be the best thing for me.
When I moved, he was lovely to me. Took the day off work to help me get the boxes in the van and loaned me money when things were tight over moving month. He was really kind and lovely and supportive.
I've been gone two weeks and miss him a lot and the more I thought about it the more of a future I started to see with him. He has been messaging every day to say he was sad and down since I left and he missed me. Then he told me he loved me, and he didn't want to lose me.
I was all set to say "ok" and try giving things a go, then he texted me last night with this story about some girl who is apparently younger than me and very attractive who has been stalking him off his old POF profile and came into his work quite a few times to see him and has been calling his work. She's also stalked him on Facebook and told him she'd been viewing his photos and it culminated in her sending him a naked photo of herself.
I'm clearly older, she's a size 8 and I am a size 14 and I clearly feel really insecure about all this. But what really, really annoys me is that he'd actually engaged in conversation with her.
I understand it's not his fault this woman is doing this, but I feel like if he was interested in me in a genuine way and had fallen in love and missed me so much like he said, he'd surely not even have replied to this nutter? Instead he's chatting with her.
He says I am over reacting and it's because of what my ex put me through that I have a jealousy problem, and he also says because I ended the relationship that he was basically free to message people if he wanted to and I can't have my cake and eat it.
I feel really miffed because I was just on the verge of saying "ok" to giving things a go and trying really hard to trust and let go, and he's done this which has made me feel like he's not trustworthy or that bothered about me.
I have lost all perspective...help!!!!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Is it me? He's chatting to his stalker?
bigbrownshoes · 25/12/2014 19:50
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.