Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Do reply to him?

(19 Posts)
Hesaysshewaffles Thu 25-Dec-14 09:16:15

In march a casual fling ended because he wouldn't upgrade it to a relationship. We tried just being friends but I couldn't make the transition and in the end I deleted his number etc and went no contact as he started to mess with my emotions. This morning he text me wishing me a happy Christmas. It wasn't a round Robin text as it was personalised. It made me cry hearing from him as I'd kind of boxed up that time in my life as it was an unhealthy - but amazing - thing we had.

I am a nice person and feel that I should reply but then I wonder if he deserves it?

Hesaysshewaffles Thu 25-Dec-14 09:18:03

He went from making me the centre of his world to being the bottom of the pile and never replied to messages and was dismissive of me

SpottedTent Thu 25-Dec-14 09:19:13

he started to mess with my emotions

I think this is all you need to remember as you delete the text. Good luck flowers

TheOriginalWinkly Thu 25-Dec-14 09:19:32

Nope. Don't bother. Delete, ignore, get on with enjoying your day.

SpottedTent Thu 25-Dec-14 09:20:16

X post - just reread that it was unhealthy! Don't do it!

hollyisalovelyname Thu 25-Dec-14 09:21:45

I wouldn't reply.
See your second post.
If it's to be rekindled he would need to do a lot more than a 'Happy Christmas' text.
You are worth far, far more.

APlaceInTheWinter Thu 25-Dec-14 09:23:04

he started to mess with my emotions and lo! he's contacted you at Christmas, a time of heightened emotion, and made you cry. He's still trying to mess with your emotions sweetheart and because you are a nice person he knew this would raise a question in your head about whether or not to reply.
Give yourself a Christmas gift of ignoring his message, deleting it and blocking his number.
You are nice. You deserve someone who is nice and don't need someone like him trying to take up space in your head.
Well done on going no contact from March. Don't let him use this time of year to break down your defences. 2015 will be so much better for you if he's not in the picture flowers

Mammanat222 Thu 25-Dec-14 09:24:38

Delete and try to enjoy your day.

Reply and you are back to square one. Don't go there.

Hesaysshewaffles Thu 25-Dec-14 09:33:17

Thanks ladies. It was a six month fling too which made me the happiest I'd ever felt, hence why I wanted it to become a relationship.

When he said he didn't want it to become one it broke me. He was adamant he wanted to remain friends which I tried, but to go from constant contact to the odd message when he wasn't 'busy' was so hard.

I don't think he intentionally meant to hurt me as he didn't realise how much I'd fallen for him.

I just hate being rude!

I'm actually in a much better place from going no contact (it was just a case of me ceasing contact, he hadn't actually proactively
Contacted me) and I suppose you could say dating someone new.

FunkyBoldRibena Thu 25-Dec-14 10:13:29

Either reply 'who is this' or just delete and block.

what good will this do you exactly?

OurMiracle1106 Thu 25-Dec-14 10:21:12

My very violent abusive ex husband will routinely do this even two years after a divorce. (seperated three)
Do not engage. They are trying to get a step in the door. And then they won't stop.

Please don't message back

FolkGirl Thu 25-Dec-14 11:09:31

It's not rude if you ignore it. It's strong. It's showing him he can't mess with your emotions any more.

If you reply, he'll think he's still 'got' you. Which is true to an extent given the way the text made him feel.

I'm half anticipating a text from my ex bf today. I shall ignore that too, for the same reason, if it comes.

FolkGirl Thu 25-Dec-14 11:11:40

Made you feel...

Paperblank Thu 25-Dec-14 11:25:44

Delete the damn text he's a fuckwit and I'll bet you a box of quality street he's after a Christmas booty call

Block his number.

Pour yourself a Christmas tipple and be thankful he's not part of your life. You don't need him lovey. He doesn't deserve you.

Merry Christmas

xxx

JuanDirection Thu 25-Dec-14 11:56:56

No no no, delete and block. Don't let him mess you up again. Merry xmas.

dirtybadger Thu 25-Dec-14 12:16:37

Don't reply.

Gfplux Thu 25-Dec-14 16:23:29

He fancys a quick shag, delete him.

Hissy Thu 25-Dec-14 16:39:00

he's contacting you because he has absolutely nothing better to do. trust me.

delete the text and don't ever look back.

SoleSource Thu 25-Dec-14 17:16:30

User he is! What a cheeky arsehole. Delete, ignore and say CUNT very loud and aggressive as you do it. He doesn't deserve you as he is a cold, twisted pig.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now