Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

dreading xmas day

(13 Posts)
prettywoman35 Thu 25-Dec-14 01:40:23

so relationship with dh isn't great at moment. He has had trouble accepting ds3 who was imo a happy accident. Things are better now but I am struggling to forgive and forget the hurtful things he has said. Like calling ds3 a f****ing brat he never wanted. Relationship with il has always bern fine. Well until mil called me a waste of space iin front of dc and dh didn't defend me.
So I am dreading Xmas Day. Thankfully inlaws are only popping round for an hour but tbh that is too long. I also can't help feeling that next year I have to be free of (d)h and his family.
I have had a busy few dags with dc visiting my family who are scatterred around country. As a result house isn't as clean as I would like. Of course this will only reflect on me not (d)h.
please tell me to get rid and not cars what they think

prettywoman35 Thu 25-Dec-14 01:44:17

sorry for typos.

JustMuddlingBobBobBobbingAlong Thu 25-Dec-14 01:44:51

Just keep thinking 'this time next year...' It might help you get through it and give you the resolve to ensure this is the last shitty Christmas. Onwards and upwards OP

prettywoman35 Thu 25-Dec-14 01:49:10

Thank you.

jackydanny Thu 25-Dec-14 01:49:51

It's just for an hour.
You can do it just for an hour.

Just serve, be polite, pleasant and brief. Use closed answers if they ask you owt so you don't get into conversation.

GlitteryLipgloss Thu 25-Dec-14 01:52:01

You can do it thanks

kill them with kindness x

ArcheryAnnie Thu 25-Dec-14 01:56:39

If "get rid" is already in your mind, oh, get rid, get rid. I did so - though it took me ages to do, as I was so scared about it and so hung on too long - and I'm looking forward to a really relaxed xmas day.

I had a truly nasty, bitter divorce, but some years on, ex and I get on fine, I like his new wife, and xmas (and every other day) has got so much easier.

Onward and upward, OP!

Adarajames Thu 25-Dec-14 04:10:06

Think if it as an hour is the price to pay knowing that next year you'll
Not have to spend any time with theno be exH! X

CogitOIOIO Thu 25-Dec-14 08:03:05

There's a psychological technique called 'visualisation' that can help you reach a goal. Not only do you imagine yourself achieving the goal but you visualise yourself taking the necessary individual steps along the way. Makes it more likely to happen.

In your case, the steps to visualise might be.....
1. Confronting anyone who criticises your housekeeping
2. Booking an appointment with a solicitor
3. Confiding your plans to a friend

Good luck

prettywoman35 Thu 25-Dec-14 10:22:13

thank you

Hissy Thu 25-Dec-14 15:10:20

darling, don't dread... PLAN!

and talk to us. we're here!

there a plenty of people who dread festivities for all sorts of reasons, you're most definitly not alone!

post here, or on our Challenging Family christmas thread,

you'll be fine, this will pass

Gfplux Thu 25-Dec-14 15:38:35

As has been said, start planning. Take control of your life by planning what you want. You have had a "happy accident" BUT with the wrong person.
However even with the right person accidents should not happen.
Now you must move on, plan, take your life in your hands. Don't leave things to others.
Good luck

prettywoman35 Sat 27-Dec-14 15:56:03

Thank you. Things were fine Xmas Day and he also made an effort with my folks. Spoiled it though by buying tacky underwear when we are bearly having sex. Yes thatt is really going to help and whinging again about cutting grocery spending in the New Year. Told him he should do it if he can do better. Of course it is also ok for him to be lord bountiful and buy expensive gifts for us and additional treats for himself with his bonus.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now