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Premature ejaculation. Any advice?

(15 Posts)
alwaysstaytoolong Wed 24-Dec-14 16:24:58

Have started getting physical with new man. All going well apart from this one issue!.

He's fine during foreplay and always makes sure I orgasm using his fingers before we DTD but once he's inside me he can't seem to hold back.

I thought at first it was because it was all new and exciting etc but we've done it a few times now and if anything, it seems to be getting worse. Last night he lasted about a minute and that's no exaggeration.

He feels embarrassed by it and apologises and I reassure him it's ok but penetration is one of my favourite aspects of sex and I know it's going to start to bother me and then I feel shallow and like a sex obsessive!. I also don't want to make him feel even worse about something that he's already feeling shit about.

He's great in every other way. As a person, the way he treats me etc and kissing and foreplay are great and we have this really exciting chemistry (I know everyone does at the start!).

I don't want hours of PIV sex but I want more than a minute or two!. Anyone experienced this and have any tips to prolong it?.

GraysAnalogy Wed 24-Dec-14 16:26:43

I think there's certain things he can do to try and stop it, I know some men have a wank (sorry quite frank) beforehand and last longer.

He could always go to his GP for help with it, I know it's embarrassing but it's worth it to get your sex life up to how you want it.

Joysmum Wed 24-Dec-14 16:33:17

have you tried seconds? It may well be better for you both then. Worth a try maybe.

dirtybadger Wed 24-Dec-14 16:36:09

There are drugs which commonly inhibit orgasm which may help. He would need to see his doctor of course.

A friend of mine has problems with premature ejaculation (confided in me so I hope he doesn't mind me anonymously talking about his private life) and does sort of what grays suggests. It takes more planning but his girlfriend gives him oral sex/he wanks, then they have sex shortly after. It doesn't delay things too much as obviously he ejaculates so quickly in "round one" and also as he is young he has a quick rate of recovery. Less ideal if your partner might need a few hours or longer...

AskMeAnother Wed 24-Dec-14 16:39:51

Can't you just do it again?

alwaysstaytoolong Wed 24-Dec-14 16:42:25

Thank you, I'll try that!. He is a Dr (not a GP) and I think that makes it worse for him in a way as Dr's often make terrible patients!.

He can hold off in foreplay but he says there's something about the sensation of actual penetration that tips him over really rapidly so maybe a 'round one and round two' approach could help!.

vienna1981 Wed 24-Dec-14 17:44:34

Citalopram is an antidepressant drug, quite freely (in my experience) prescribed by doctors. One of it's significant side-effects is delaying orgasm. I believe it 'works' for men and women. It does make the extra effort worthwhile, iyswim. An understanding GP is the first port of call.

Good luck.

spinduchess Wed 24-Dec-14 17:46:08

There are orgasm delaying condoms. I think they have some kind of numbing agent inside them.

MadeMan Wed 24-Dec-14 17:58:05

"I know some men have a wank (sorry quite frank) "

Thanks for the cockney rhyming translation for us Londoners.

alwaysstaytoolong Wed 24-Dec-14 18:23:12

Thanks to all of you and lol at Cockney rhyming slang! smile

gatewalker Wed 24-Dec-14 18:31:46

He can use a cockring, and you can do some manoeuvres on his penis to delay orgasm, and there are different breathing techniques that help too. Don't go the drugs route. Really.

Sickoffrozen Wed 24-Dec-14 20:30:12

Try condoms if not already using. That may take that sensation away!

manaboutthemaison Wed 24-Dec-14 22:54:16

i'll send you a photo of my ex MIL, that should delay it for about a week

flatbellyfella Thu 25-Dec-14 17:35:42

An old remedy for this condition was to squeeze the head of his penis hard between thumb and fore finger when he feels he is going to reach ejeculation, until it subsides, then try again. Get him to try it....... Then report back if it works for him, it may help others.

Hughfearnley Thu 25-Dec-14 17:40:26

Regular sex
Masturbation before sex
Local anaesthetic agents inside condoms
Drugs would be a last resort

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