I am having a royally shit time.
Over the last two weeks I have had a miscarriage and big upheaval at work . Due to my circumstances I only took one day off work and did not have time to feel any real emotion. Three days ago I have found out that my brother is having an affair (he got married in September but has been with his wife for 7 years). He has behaved terribly and lied to all of us.
I am now under immense pressure from my family to offer him 'support'. I don't support him at all, what he did was calculated and he deserves to feel guilty and sorry for himself. I have told him that I am his sister and that I will not abandon him but also that I am angry with him, but apparently this is not enough. I wanted to say (but didn't) that he didn't contact me once about my miscarriage and no one picked him up on this. So why am I being targeted for not being supportive about an affair that should never have happened?
I was especially upset when a comparison was made to a time when my brother supported me when I was struggling with an eating disorder as a teen. You do not choose to have an eating disorder, but you do choose an affair- right?
With the miscarriage and work, I forgot to tell DH that we are supposed to be going to my mum's for boxing day, not staying at his mums as he thought. My brother is now going to be at my mum's for boxing day (not with his wife of course...) and DH is refusing to go because he is so angry at my brother. I don't wish to see my brother either as I have nothing to say to him and everything is still very raw, but I will be there to avoid any further conflict with my parents.
What I WANT to do is crawl into bed and not come out again for a long time. I don't want Christmas and I don't want to deal with any more phone calls, emails or texts about any more family drama. I want to be selfish and be by myself. Should I be being more 'supportive'? How can I support my brother when a) I think he is an absolute pig and b) I am feeling very fragile myself at the moment.
Can you tell I have no one to talk to about this :( Have name changed.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Want to hibernate til Feb to get away from my family
TheGrinch2014 · 23/12/2014 20:33
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