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so..who had a heartbreak this year?

(61 Posts)
FrogIsATwatInASantaHat Tue 23-Dec-14 19:35:28

I've been reading some really upsetting threads from MN'ers who are just going through a break up. Its a terrible time of year given that its the season! !
I have read lots of inspirational threads this year from posters whose lives have improved X amount of time after a split so I thought I would add this one so hopefully those of us who have recent splits (2014) can perhaps give a little hope to the VERY recently parted.
At the time (September ) I could barely function but my positives...
Meeting new friends. People who make my sides split with laughter.
Signing up for a walking challenge next year. I haven't done any serious walking since before children (11 years )
The joint business xp and I set up has boomed.
I no longer burst into tears at the drop of a hat.
hearing xp is miserable with OW

EveryNight Tue 23-Dec-14 19:45:34

It's been about half a year.
I've met new friends and am enjoying work.
However, I'm on anti-anxiety meds and am considering asking for anti-depressants. I'm still bursting into tears a lot.
I'm functioning though, mostly.

FrogIsATwatInASantaHat Tue 23-Dec-14 19:52:50

Aww Every I am on meds too sad don't get me wrong I still think of him every..ooh every 30 minutes. . But life is opening up in ways I had never thought possible. I can see light now..
you will get through this and i bet all of us will feel a whole heap of shit better come January xx

EveryNight Tue 23-Dec-14 20:11:49

Yeah, new year, new opportunities, right?
Hope the future holds happiness for us both.

Palepowder Tue 23-Dec-14 20:12:52

Break up here too. Way back in Feb. Could hardly function then, just putting one foot in from of the other. On meds (still) but stronger and better every day.
Now? No tears here for several months! Have a better social life than I did before break up and kids (all four of them) know I love them very much. We're with my family and friends for Christmas. 'D'H will be with his new partner in another country. It's a hard time but I think I'll have a better Christmas than him. Onwards and upwards for 2015, one step at a time. xx

elsabelle Tue 23-Dec-14 20:26:25

Ooh great thread Frog. Gosh feel like i am ALWAYS on the heartbreak threads, telling my boring story and recovery! blush But here i am anyway ;)

It was Sept for me too Frog. I lost my Mum in June (very unexpected) and then was cheated on in July, spent August thinking we'd work it out, then dumped in September.

The positives for me have been:

- I've REALLY realised who my real friends are and they have been amazing. (And also some not so great friends who i now distanced myself from). And also great love and support has come from some very surprising people too - people who i didn't even know very well but have proved to be fantastic and so kind.
- Have started some volunteering. Has really helped to meet new people, get out of the house, and realise that there are lots people out there struggling with different difficulties.
- Counselling is amazing. I might do it forever.
- Even when the tears come (and they still do every day!) I know it will pass and i'll feel brighter again.

Heres to a great 2015 for us all x

Trooperslane Tue 23-Dec-14 20:29:36

My DM died in the Spring. Same day, different year as DDad.

Xmas is going to go one way or the other fsad

HappyGoLuckyGirl Tue 23-Dec-14 20:51:35

Two in one bloody year.

Split with father of my DS in March, after an agonising 9 months of trying to work it out.

Met a great guy through work in Aug. Found out he was married, with a 7 year old and a baby on the way in Sept.

I'm okay. smile

HappyGoLuckyGirl Tue 23-Dec-14 20:52:13

thanks to everyone. Hope you can all surround yourselves with family and friends at Christmas.

vrtra Tue 23-Dec-14 21:24:53

Dumped in June after 4 years. Just had my first sad little text from him about how sorry he is. Told him if it meant that much he could say it to my face... Surprise surprise, no reply.

Sod Christmas

unluckyineverything Tue 23-Dec-14 21:39:19

I've literally just had my heartbroken
Dp went out again at 12 today 9th time in 10 days, he phoned me at 8 to say he was coming home now, called again at 9 an as the pub he was in is 2 mins away I was feeling pissed off with him so answered the phone saying "what" he hung up instantly then texted to say merry Xmas you argumentative dick that's done it for me we are over. Sorry for typos as I'm crying an really don't know what the future holds yet alone christmas.

FozzzyBear Tue 23-Dec-14 22:13:49

It's been longer than a year but I'm still heartbroken and feeling it deeply, yes. Will be pleased to see the back of 2014

CalleighDoodle Tue 23-Dec-14 22:49:44

Unluckyineverything he sounds like a dick. Im sure next year without him will be better x

Cabs1 Tue 23-Dec-14 23:15:47

DH gave me the I don't love you anymore speech in September. I gave him an ultimatum to try to work it out or move out, and he moved out in November. Now I barely hear from him - after 10 years married and 2 DCs. He seems to be doing fine. I shouldn't have given the ultimatum, I'm a mess tonight. I'm not looking for advice, I'm just so deeply sad.

Hobbitwife001 Tue 23-Dec-14 23:18:29

My husband of 27 years left in September for a ow who I thought was a friend and has moved in with her in the same small village. Having counselling and tried to take ad's but they just made me sick, still having problems with anxiety, insomnia, and low self esteem. BUT, not crying every day now, have had fantastic support from really good friends, have realised we will have a much happier life without his grumpy arse around, onwards and upwards in 2015 ladies! Chin up, tits out, as my dear old mum used to say. It's just difficult this time of year, as there are a lot of memories and emotions tied up with Christmas.....

Patonthehead Tue 23-Dec-14 23:25:13

I threw him out asked DH to leave on 5 November after finding confirmation of the affair that I knew in my gut was going on.

I am not heartbroken: I am too angry at his duplicity (past and ongoing) to feel heartbroken.

Like many here, I avidly read and read on Mumsnet before confronting him, and I am grateful every day for the insights, advice and experiences that enabled me to act decisively when I needed to.

I have four children aged eight and under, and it is tough, every day, but every day, I log in and am reassured that I made the right move.

Maybe next year, I'll feel the heartbreak. But now? Uh-uh.

Loriens Tue 23-Dec-14 23:41:11

My marriage ended just under six months ago. Have already received the nisi so late January I will be divorced. Friends for nearly 30 years, together for nearly 16...
It was quite out of the blue and he has divorced me on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour because his' friendship' with his best friend's widow (and our mutual friend) is completely unrelated...hmm
However, despite hitting rock bottom in August and I do still take anti-D's and Anti-anxiety meds; my mantra is 'fake it, til you make it'.I have lost 3st, had a haircut and have a manicure monthly. I also never go out any more without make-up on. I wear high heels and have bought new clothes.
I have been supported by some wonderful people both IRL and Mumsnet. I live alone for the first time in ever ( and actually like it), I don't cry as much (NC is the best thing for me) despite still being sad and I am starting to see that there is a life out there for me...

FrogIsATwatInASantaHat Tue 23-Dec-14 23:50:00

Cabs you did absolutely the right thing. What was the alternative? Yes maybe he'd still be there but at what cost? Wiping his feet all over you!
Unlucky. He sounds like an utter arsehole. I am repeating my favourite new line in my head on a daily basis (which of course I learnt on MN) "better to be alone than badly accompanied'. I still miss him but I really didn't deserve his behaviour.
Patonthehead. You were very brave to decisively throw him out. I hope that the heartbreak doesn't come.
Hobbit. Chin up tits out! Yep. When everything else around you is going tits UP thats very good advice. Bless your mum!

FrogIsATwatInASantaHat Tue 23-Dec-14 23:57:26

Loriens flowers fake it til you make it. Another phrase I live by! I did an awful lot of that for 6 weeks. I've a long way to go as do a lot of us it seems. But the actual collapsing , debilitating , random fountains of tears have gone and I can see a future.
I hope this gives some of the newly heartbroken some hope.

Palepowder Wed 24-Dec-14 00:33:23

Frog you are so right.It really does get better. x

Wotsitsareafterme Wed 24-Dec-14 00:48:07

Dumped by silence in July by what I recognise as a total narcissist (info on mn obviously). It made me ill physically and very much mentally. I lost a stone in weight and had 7 weeks signed off work. Not even my divorce hit me that hard. This will put me to exh if he still reads the boards but whatever. Every other relationship however significant or not I can reflect and say well it wouldn't work for x y reasons but this one was almost emotionally violent.
I'm still getting over it but I met dp while I was in shit state. He helped me a lot and never judged. I had anti depressants immediately. I stopped taking them but I shouldn't have. Feeling a bit mental just now and I will request a lower dose in jan when xmas has been and gone. I need the crutches still I still feel so wounded

Wotsitsareafterme Wed 24-Dec-14 00:49:02

Dumped by silence in July by what I recognise as a total narcissist (info on mn obviously). It made me ill physically and very much mentally. I lost a stone in weight and had 7 weeks signed off work. Not even my divorce hit me that hard. This will put me to exh if he still reads the boards but whatever. Every other relationship however significant or not I can reflect and say well it wouldn't work for x y reasons but this one was almost emotionally violent.
I'm still getting over it but I met dp while I was in shit state. He helped me a lot and never judged. I had anti depressants immediately. I stopped taking them but I shouldn't have. Feeling a bit mental just now and I will request a lower dose in jan when xmas has been and gone. I need the crutches still I still feel so wounded

WellWhoKnew Wed 24-Dec-14 01:24:05

For me: same shit, different day. Christmas this year is cancelled for me.
Same as last year.

Did have plans, but fabulous doctor friend has to attend to the sick and injured, as well as those who are infirmed and unfortunate.

Seriously? I mean, seriously? There are people out there more deserving than little old me?

Had a brilliant couple of Christmases preceding my life now.

But never really celebrated Christmas anyway.

Met "Loriens" at her lowest, met her a couple of weeks ago as it goes. Met her in the between bits too. Chatted to her loads in between.

Stunning woman.

And yes, she's stunning with heels.

An icon for us all.

I KOKO. Next year: I am so going to be stealth boasting about my fabulous life.

Until then, I hang in there, I hold on, I KOKO.

But yes, this year is shit.

19 days.

differentnameforthis Wed 24-Dec-14 03:08:41

Does it have to be because of a break up?

I am heartbroken as MIL has just been told that FIL can't come home after a stroke.

I am heart broken for dh, MIL & my girls.

sad

Redtartanshoes Wed 24-Dec-14 03:39:56

Me too. hmm

Split with ex in July after 2 years. Probably my shortest relationship but has hurt far more than the others but together.

Still think of him hourly daily. Haven't seen or heard abything from him in over a month now. Keep thinking there will be a card from him through the door but nothing.

I hope the pain goes away soon. It's still all consuming hmm

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