Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Family Wedding Drama

(21 Posts)
Princessjonsie Tue 23-Dec-14 13:58:46

Without going into a long and boring story I do not get on with my husbands immediate family. Mother in law Sister in law and one brother in law. There is a family wedding coming up. The wedding is for my husbands cousin. They are having a small wedding and are not inviting "partners". My mother in law is insisting this includes me but I don't think as a wife this should be . Partners are boyfriends/girlfriends not married people. what do you think?

Littlefish Tue 23-Dec-14 14:02:00

Why are you asking your mother in law? Just wait for the invitation.

For what it's worth, I think she is right and that if it is a very small wedding with "no partners", then only members of the immediate family will be invited, married or not.

FelicityGubbins Tue 23-Dec-14 14:04:28

Shouldn't it be up to the cousin getting married who is invited? I would ask them directly if you are invited or not and cut out the middle man. If you are not invited then you and your DH between you can decide whether he should accept the invitation or not.

Pengyquin Tue 23-Dec-14 14:06:00

Wait for the invite.

But tbh, why would you want to go anyway?!

Fudgeface123 Tue 23-Dec-14 14:07:30

Why would you want to go ?

magpieginglebells Tue 23-Dec-14 14:08:55

It's not up to you or your mother in law. Just wait for the invitation.

CleanLinesSharpEdges Tue 23-Dec-14 14:12:27

No wonder the two of you don't get on. Seems you both want to get up each others noses about this when in actual fact, until you get the invite, neither of you knows whether you're invited or not.

wellcoveredsparerib Tue 23-Dec-14 14:13:51

"Family wedding drama"

Drama of who's making? It sounds as if you are eager to make it one.

CheeseandPickledOnion Tue 23-Dec-14 14:15:27

I think you don't like them, so why would you want to go or care?

Iggi999 Tue 23-Dec-14 14:17:47

Inviting cousins is clearly a step too far, she shouldn't ask your dh either!
Would you be happy if it was the other way round, if your dp of ten years wasn't invited say and someone's else's dh was?

Joysmum Tue 23-Dec-14 14:21:53

I'd read partners as +1's.

Either way, it's not about what either of you believe to be the case, it's what the wedding invite says that counts.

Enjoy your continued squabbles till then!

Mammanat222 Tue 23-Dec-14 14:25:50

Partner / OH / husband or wife = same thing to me.

Sounds like you'd be better off not to receive an invite, unless of course you like the drama?

WineWineWine Tue 23-Dec-14 14:42:36

Do you get on with the bride and groom? If so, you might get an invite, time will tell.
If you don't, why would you even want to go?

OddBoots Tue 23-Dec-14 14:50:58

I would imagine it includes all partners, married or otherwise as relationships aren't that cut and dry. Wait and see though.

juneavrile Tue 23-Dec-14 14:53:32

Like so many PPs have said, do you really want to go? Especially if it's small and you'll be with a family you do not like.

You know how much weddings cost and it can be really hard for the couple on a budget and they might feel quite embarrassed about it, so be generous hearted if they have to keep it small. Why not tell MIL that having given it some more thought, this the way you feel (even if it's a bit of a stretching of the truth). Take the higher ground. It's very enjoyable.

If you're not invited, on the day buy yourself a bottle of fizz and some smoked salmon and toast the couple - and your day of not having to put up relly hell without a silly fascinator attached to your head.

Ragwort Tue 23-Dec-14 14:59:18

Agree with everyone else, why on earth do you want to go if you don't get on with your DH's family? confused Most people would be pleased to have an excuse to avoid them in this situation.

Sounds like you are the one enjoying the drama. hmm.

FrancesNiadova Tue 23-Dec-14 21:32:11

Go & book yourself a spa day with your mates.
Wave him off, "Have a naice time, dear!"
It's a win-win situation! wine

Princessjonsie Mon 29-Dec-14 03:34:22

To be honest not bothered about going and am happy for him to go alone as if I go it will just make it difficult for hubby ( although it would be nice to annoy my sister in law who would be livid if I was there lol) . My objection is if my bother in law os invited and not me ( didn't make that clear in the post) if he is invited then I feel so should I be and then my hubby and I can sit down and discuss if he wants me to go to be by his side or of he wants a family day. I will go with his wishes. He also has loads of family who I do get on with and all of who want to see and don't agree with the reason for the drama. In a nutshell my mother on law has to have an object of hate and it was my brother in law for 3 years but he then have them a large was of money so her she couldn't have him so her eye fell on me and her reason for the hate is my hubby sent crappy Xmas present and a cheap card and this is my fault .

HaloItsMeFell Mon 29-Dec-14 03:40:00

To be honest not bothered about going and am happy for him to go alone as if I go it will just make it difficult for hubby ( although it would be nice to annoy my sister in law who would be livid if I was there lol)

Well don't you sound lovely. hmm

Look, stop behaving like a bunch of children and wait for the invitations.

If your BIL is invited but you are not, then that would obviously be unfair, although you have no idea whether that will happen or not yet, do you? So the only person making a 'drama' out of this is you.

DropYourSword Mon 29-Dec-14 03:47:54

Don't use someone else's wedding to score points against other family members you don't get on with. This back biting and one upmanship will just spoil their day.

If you must annoy your family, organise another event yourself and let the drama unfold. Don't do it this way.

Isetan Mon 29-Dec-14 06:06:04

You're letting your animosity with your H's family cloud your better judgement here. The bride and groom are the ones who decide who are invited to their wedding. If you as your H's wife are left off the invite and your BIL isn't, than its up to your H to decide if he will accept the invitation.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: