Genuinly very puzzled and (in some cases upset & humiliated)
Why do some people offer me their help with great enthusiasm and all manner of unrequested embellishments only to change their mind at the last minute?
Recent examples:
I am currently looking for a new place to live as my housemate is driving me up the wall.
As part of my search I though I'd ask a friend of mine if he had anything suitable on his books at the moment (owns a handful of rental properties) or if he could let me know if he got to hear of anything.
With two cats and me to home i need to explore every avenue iyswim.
Next thing I know, he is offering me a house belonging to him which is standing empty, says the cats are no problem, after lots of 'are you sure's' from me and 'don't be silly's glad to help out a friend' from him we agree a weekly rental amount and set off to view the place. Very nice etc so while there I tell friend I would love to live there and when he thinks I might be able to move in?
As soon as the words were out of my mouth friend started acting strange, really uncomfortable and acting as if i had a cheek actually wanting to move in! When pressed on it, he cites worries about the cats scratching the skirting boards and oh, the house is up for sale and he needs to speak to the estate agent & vendor first yadda yadda blah blah. I felt so humiliated I can't even begin to describe it.
Thought I'd found a gorgeous place last week, landlord falling over himself to assure me cats not a problem at all, he is cat lover himself etc, great, agreed to let me have the place then when I tried to arrange paying deposit etc suddenly he no longer wants to rent to someone with cats but would allow a small dog.
Fair enough, people change their minds but why all the bullcrap of utter enthusiasm and reassurances (both of the above)
Couple of friends who have spent months pressing me to call them if there's anything they can do to help then when I finally asked them I got point blank no's again delivered in the same sort of exasperated 'you've got a cheek' tone with facial expressions to match.
I don't ask for help easily, am normally fiercely independent and rely only on myself but the time had come where I needed a hand with one or two things.
What the heck is going on? Is it me? The cats? Are the people with the properties simply wanting someone to go round and ooh and aah at their (empty) palaces?
Clues very gratefully received as this is starting to really do my head in.
Thanks in advance, sorry for essay.
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Relationships
People who offer you help then snatch it away when you accept? (long)
15 replies
BibiBlocksbergv2 · 23/12/2014 13:51
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