Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
Threats from partners dysfunctional family whilst I'm pregnant :-((8 Posts)
I originally posted in pregnancy as I normally do but someone suggested to post in here so here it goes.
I'll try and cut it short and put the facts into sections instead.
- partners family are one of those big families that to everyone else, make out they are a big close family, but in fact they all hate each other and slag each other off!
- in the 5 years I've been with my partner (were in our 20s), I've heard it all, and they seem to forget that.
- one of his aunties in particular (in her 40s believe it or not) is the one in question. I worked for her for a while whilst I was desperate after coming out of another job. Big mistake- I've always known what she's like. My mum has never liked her and there's not many people that genuinely do (she has a daughter my age so mum knows of her from school runs years ago etc).
- there is a brand new drama every week, and this week it's our turn. I've not been brought up around drama- I have lived a quiet, enjoyable life where nobody is hurting anybody. It upsets me that I'm dragged into hearing about their situations.
- basically she had sacked other staff members due to her believing they were thieving. These particular staff then tried to get themselves out of trouble by claiming me and her own brother were also doing the same thing.
- unbeknown to me she has held this grudge for a few months knowing i was leaving this week (week just gone). And has now let loose over the dreaded 'Facebook' slagging me and my partner off (my I add not her own brother though). Threatening to name names. She's very into this 'Facebook' business and is HIGHLY attention seeking.
- basically we had a lot if abusive threatening texts as to which I have blocked numbers for now and am changing my number today.
- my problem is that they are not ones that you would necessarily call the police on. They are a dodgy family, and would very likely get revenge back. I'm not sure what else I can do :-(
- his family have took her side due to him just being a grandson, and her being a daughter.
- I could rant about them all day.
- by the way I'm 23 weeks pregnant.
I just want to know of other people that have been in similar family "in-law" situations? :-(
Don't look for revenge because that kind of drama will just feed the situation and, from what you say, this woman will thrive on that.
If I were you I would sit tight and say nothing. Keep all texts that she sends. I think, and someone who knows better might correct me, that new malicious communications laws might consider a high volume and frequency of texts to be malicious/harassment. As I said I don't know but I did read a case where a young man was charged and convicted under these laws having sent his ex-girlfriend something like 100 unwanted texts in an hour. They weren't all abusive but it was harassment IYKWIM.
The family sound like a bunch of dead-legs anyway so maybe consider going NC.
Hi Irishblood thanks for your message. And thanks for taking the time to read my long post,Yes I agree with you, have done a lot of blocking and deleting but have kept the texts on my phone, my partner has too. For exactly that reason. You're right she would thrive on that, she is doing a lot of talking and slandering but
.. But we aren't biting to it and hopefully it will die down :-( I don't hate many people, if any, but I really do feel a lot of hate for her. She is just not the type of person I want to associate myself with and am angry that I ever did in the first place!
rosey what sort of revenge are we talking about?
Is your DP completely on your side?
Depending on the level of subtle or not-so-subtle-but-below-the-police-radar level of threat, I'd recommend either sitting tight or ... worst case ... consider relocating.
That sounds extreme and maybe is, but if we are talking long term nastiness even at a low level, it wears you down, grinds you down and it truly isn't something a pregnant mother needs. Might they even take it out on your baby later on at school with jeering and bullying? if they are a problem family, frankly sometimes there's very little anyone can do
If it's low level and will die out then it's just something that will blow over. It's just that the sound of them is pretty unpleasant and it can really dim the fun of life if you're always on edge.
Hi meerka, well the particular aunty and her partner I just see as dangerous and not to be trusted. They are those sort of people that make out they don't like drama and always talk about karma etc, but infact thrive off drama and getting reactions. If it is just all talk, and just want to scare me, then it has worked. I have always known what she was like and in a way I'm glad that my partner has seen the text messages and she has now shown her true colours. I know that he hates that he's sort of in the middle of it all, but he understands that it's her and not me. If I think for a second he's not on my side I will go back to my parents and look for a place of my own, without any second thoughts. Not to be spiteful, but for me and my baby. But we have always said if we could just go and move, we would. My partner had another daughter that we see at weekends. That is one of the only reasons we haven't as yet. But these days you work around things and travel so I think in the new year we will be rethinking it all
And yes your'e right, they are a problem family!
glad he sees what's going on now, he is in a difficult position yes, but his priority needs to be you. Glad you could go back to your parents, if you really had to. Good luck.
Join the discussion
Please login first.