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My relationship is over 2 days before Christmas

(10 Posts)
Discopanda Tue 23-Dec-14 02:07:04

I need to go to sleep but I can't stop crying. There's been small things and larger things leading up to this, the main probably being the fact that I don't trust my partner. I found an email that he sent to his mother saying he wants to break up with me, although I've often expressed when I've not been happy, he never speaks to me. I'm 25 weeks pregnant and we have a nearly 3 year old, I'm not happy with the way we are and I just want to start a new life with my daughter. I feel lost.

Blondebiker4685 Tue 23-Dec-14 02:18:41

What is it you are unhappy about in the relationship?

It must have been a shock to discover he wanted out

sykadelic Tue 23-Dec-14 02:21:30

I'm sorry you're going through this OP.

You said you've not been happy, so try and this of this Christmas as your first Christmas in a long time where you only need to worry about yourself and your child/ren. Your "present" to yourself is freedom and respect for yourself (not letting yourself be treated badly). A morning to sleep in, or eat what you want, watch what you want... beholden to nobody.

It will be okay in the end flowers

DioneTheDiabolist Tue 23-Dec-14 03:02:50

It's clear that neither you nor your DP are happy ATM.thanks

It's not unreasonable that he discuss this privately with a trusted family member and I'm sorry you felt the need to snoop OP. I think you should tell him what you saw. It won't be easy, but the two of you need to have an honest conversation about what is making you unhappy.

Discopanda Tue 23-Dec-14 08:28:36

I confronted him last night, he says he didn't mean it but I don't believe him. He acts like he wants to be single and free of responsibilities, I just need to decide what to do as I don't have the money to move out, I'm a SAHM and the mortgage is only in his name

Adarajames Tue 23-Dec-14 10:31:03

Sorry you are having such a bad time, hugs for you

Doesn't matter if house only in his name if you are married, being married entities you to a fair share in everything, and often the sahm will be able to stay in the home till kids reach 18. You need to get some legal advice so you know where you stand, then can make better informed decisions. So hard at this time if year, but please be kind and gentle to yourself, do you have family / friends you could visit for short while whilst you find a lawyer to get the info you need? X

Adarajames Tue 23-Dec-14 10:32:52

Sorry, just re read op and not sure if you're married? If not, then you definitely need to speak to a latest to find out what your options are, just knowing might help you feel better able to make decisions you need to. Warm thoughts for you xx

Discopanda Tue 23-Dec-14 21:41:27

Not married so legally screwed!xx

Deserttrek Tue 23-Dec-14 23:23:56

Discopanda, the fact that the mortgage is in his name means he owes money to Big Bank plc, and he may well have the legal title to the property. But it doesn't mean he has the full beneficial interest in it. In the UK we have a concept knows as a 'Trust' which means that legal title does not mean the registered person has an unfettered claim over the home. If you have put money into it, or have been told "it is your home" as much as his (and after all you have a 3 year old so I think that is very likely, based on the facts) then you probably have a beneficial interest in the property. It is called 'Proprietary Estoppel' and sometimes a 'Constructive Trust' which means that you cannot be booted out, because you do have an interest in the property, nor should you leave. In fact you should stay and make him face up to his responsibilities, to ensure you have a safe home for his/your children. That's the only thing he needs to do right now.

Notmeagain1 Wed 24-Dec-14 00:50:01

Yes, agree with deserttrek 100%, unless he is emotionally or physically violent, which didnt come across in your OP. I only wanted to let you know you can handle,this. Stay strong for your dc and take care of yourself for the lo to come soon. flowers

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