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How can I help my SIL ?? I believe she is an alcoholic

(10 Posts)
Funnyfishface Mon 22-Dec-14 23:06:24

He brother died aged 40 he was an alcoholic as was her father.
She drinks every day. I don't think I have seen her sober in the last few years. She is in her 40s. She has three lovely grown kids and a husband who adores her. She abuses him verbally when she has had a drink.

She called round yesterday afternoon after a family lunch and she had drank 2 bottles of wine. She was telling everyone how much she loved them one minute. Then picking fights the next.

The whole family are talking about her. Which is awful.
She manages to hold down a job - incredible really.
She knows she has a problem, admits it and says she would love to stop.

Any advice mumsnetters??

Wolfiefan Mon 22-Dec-14 23:10:22

I'm sorry but if she does want to stop then she will. You can't make that happen.

antimatter Mon 22-Dec-14 23:16:04

Read about enabling alcoholics.

ColdCottage Mon 22-Dec-14 23:16:20

If she wants to stop perhaps offer to go to her GP with her for further advice on local services.

CogitOIOIO Mon 22-Dec-14 23:19:33

I think the people that need your help and support are the rest of her family. They're the ones really suffering.

Funnyfishface Wed 24-Dec-14 00:34:17

I agree the rest of her family are really suffering. Her kids are embarrassed by her.
Her husband is tee total. He is at his wits end with it. I have got details of support groups and said that I would go with her.
I don't like her when she is drunk. And when I saw her this weekend I felt cross with her for letting herself get to this point. But I do want to help her if I can.

antimatter Wed 24-Dec-14 08:47:24

Funnyfishface - no disrespect but by doing all that research for her and offering to go to AA meetings with her you are enabling her.
Anyone who allows her to get away with horrible behaviour and excusing herself from taking charge of her life is enabling her.

Read this psychcentral.com/lib/are-you-an-enabler/00015255

but there are hundreds of articles about it.

CogitOIOIO Wed 24-Dec-14 08:52:53

Offer to go to Al Anon with her husband rather than waste time and energy on the alcoholic.

Dapplegrey Wed 24-Dec-14 08:56:25

What Cogit0 says. Other people can't stop and alcoholic drinking. Other people don't cause it, can't control it and can't cure it. Al-Anon is a good idea for yourself and your brother.

Fingeronthebutton Wed 24-Dec-14 21:41:50

Both my parents were alcoholics. There is nothing you can do to help until they REALLY want to stop.

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