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Do you think I may have a problem?

(14 Posts)
CatatonicOnSherry Mon 22-Dec-14 14:00:15

Like an addiction?

I have name changed because I know my sister is on here! Long term poster.

I have a very high sex drive. DH's is normal. He would be happy with sex twice a week.

However I would prefer to have sex daily. We do have young children and I understand he may not always be in the mood and I am respectful of that but I'm starting to wonder if I do have a problem.

In the last 48 hours i have orgasmed 11 times. 6 with DH (we had sex last night and the night before. I came 3 times each time.)

And the rest by myself.

It's like I just can't concentrate until I get it done. I just came up stairs to do it because I couldn't wait till tonight.

I am faithful. Have no interest in other men or sex with other men. Only DH. And I try not to make issue of it if he is not in the mood, I just sort myself out but I'm starting to think its an abnormal situation?

Or is it not an issue as long as it works for us? Or should I be able to control it?!

CogitOIOIO Mon 22-Dec-14 14:06:26

Sea drive, like any other behaviour, is very individual. When it becomes problematic, again like any other behaviour, is when it starts to negatively impact on your ability to lead a normal, happy life. If you're unhappy, worried or feel your behaviour is at all obsessive or compulsive then talk to your doctor and get their opinion

dirtybadger Mon 22-Dec-14 14:12:27

Addictions are normally characterised by the negative impact on day to day life. I have (I think?) a high sex drive. I could spend all day in bed with someone/alone, but I don't need to call in sick to work because I'm busy masturbating, or leave social functions early, it doesn't distress me, etc.

If it is intruding onto your day to day life, causing you distress (or those close to you) or basically as cog says...see the Dr.
I got a little bit paranoid about it once as a man made a flippant comment that was a bit hurtful about how much sex I wanted (he wanted it too!) but soon realised (thanks google) I was perfectly normal and it was healthy. I think as a woman we are expected to have lower sex drives, and worry more than any man would.

Good luck flowers

CatatonicOnSherry Mon 22-Dec-14 14:13:22

I don't think it negatively impacts our lives but I do wonder if it is 'normal' (whatever that means) to feel the need to masturbate during the day. It will always be once. Sometimes twice a day and that isn't including sex with DH. I think maybe I'm making it worse by doing this almost?

CatatonicOnSherry Mon 22-Dec-14 14:16:08

No I don't feel like that. It doesn't inhibit me in any way. Maybe I just feel a little self concious and odd.

CogitOIOIO Mon 22-Dec-14 14:16:52

Maybe talk to your GP anyway. Let them reassure you

CatatonicOnSherry Mon 22-Dec-14 15:30:12

Gosh no. I don't want to do that.

dirtybadger Mon 22-Dec-14 15:38:24

FWIW sounds "normal" to me. Who cares if it's "abnormal" anyway? Especially with sexual things, nobody knows what anyone else is doing truly!
Masturbation is natural and healthy and you're not harming yourself or anyone else, by the sounds of it, by the frequency at which you masturbate or have sex.

You may get the impression it's not normal because no one else talks about masturbating several times a day. That's probably because they feel like you do! Worried they're weird or abnormal. People don't speak about these things openly enough but I think you have nothing to worry about. I hope not anyway, because if so I and many other women also need "help"!

msrisotto Mon 22-Dec-14 15:42:54

I'd assume you're normal unless you're causing yourself pain or it is negatively impacting your life.

What is normal? Everyone's sex drive will be on a continuum with some people hardly ever wanting it and at the other end, some people wanting it very very often. You won't be the only one.

CatatonicOnSherry Mon 22-Dec-14 15:49:13

Dirtybadger, that was very helpful to read. Thankyou

Mummyoftwobeautifulpoppets Mon 22-Dec-14 20:46:05

I could quite happily have sex all the time OP, and yes - I've also worried that I was a little 'abnormal', but I think people are just different.
Only thing that stopped me feeling like that was when I was taking ADs (sertraline) and then I was frustrated because I couldn't orgasm! No happy medium with me confused

Eekaman Mon 22-Dec-14 20:56:44

Over the years a couple of girls have told me similar stories as you Op, you aren't alone by any stretch of the imagination. I knew one who would make herself cum every time she went for a pee. Yes, at work, in the pub, at home, out to dinner. Everywhere. She'd also do it a couple of times every time she had a shower, even if there was a man waiting for her in bed...

Enjoy your hobby I say.

CatatonicOnSherry Tue 23-Dec-14 08:04:48

Mummy I was on sertraline and had the same problem a while ago. I'm now on citalopram and it isn't an issue anymore.

Thankyou for the reassurance, I guess I just needed to check in with people over it but it isn't the sort of thing you usually discuss!

JaceyBee Tue 23-Dec-14 08:14:51

I just posted this on another thread about mismatched sex drives (there seems to be a few right now) but I would happily have sex every morning and night time with solo sessions in between if it's possible. Luckily my man is a lot younger and has a lot of energy compared to guys my age and loves it! We both have higher sex drives than average I would say but that certainly doesn't mean we're abnormal!

I would only say a high sex drive is problematic if is impacts negatively on your life, e.g you neglect other things for it, you cheat on your partner, it's causing you pain or discomfort. Otherwise it's fine and yes completely 'normal' (whatever that even means).

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