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Fed up of my MIL using my husband as an emotional crutch

(5 Posts)
sharonthewaspandthewineywall Sun 21-Dec-14 20:27:53

I feel awful saying this but hopefully getting it down will enable me not to let him hear any of my feelings.
My MIL has had a terrible life if I'm honest and I certainly don't even her for what she's gone through. However through each upset the main person who she's off loaded to emotionally is DH.
He runs down to her house several times a week and uses the excuse 'she's on her own'
I feel cunty tbh as she's kind to us and the kids but she IMHO really leans on DH too much and I feel insignificant to him

LittleDonkeyLeftie Sun 21-Dec-14 20:41:22

Several times a week?

That's a lot of regular trauma even for the unluckiest person.

Can you elaborate OP on exactly what happens?

The fact you feel "insignificant" is important here so expand on that too if you can.

JuanDirection Sun 21-Dec-14 20:52:04

Is it really several times a week that she has an emotional crisis, and he runs to her house?! Has she got anxiety/depression? Maybe she needs to see the GP. Or can you schedule in a weekly time for her so she doesn't have to invent excuses to see your dh (if you think that might be what's happening)?

Isetan Mon 22-Dec-14 05:49:40

This isn't a MIL, it's a H problem. Your H's boundaries, or lack of them, with his mother is his responsibility. Tell him how it impacts you as an individual and as his partner but ultimately, if he doesn't see it as a problem then the theres very little you can do.

CogitOIOIO Mon 22-Dec-14 07:11:49

I agree with the PP that this is something your DH has to tackle. It's great that he's a good son but, if she's lonely and he provides constant companionship and emotional support, she has no motivation to bring new people into her life or develop other interests. Perhaps that's the angle you take with him?

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