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Me and DP have just argued

(66 Posts)
needaholidaynow Sun 21-Dec-14 17:57:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

12daysofpissedoff Sun 21-Dec-14 18:03:16

He sounds more like an extra DS than A DP

delaselva Sun 21-Dec-14 18:04:58

What does he add to your life? Reading your post he sounds like a man who adds nothing at all to your life.

Worse than that, he's not a 'neutral, passive' creature, he's a financial drain (buying games and expecting you to contribute, smoking) and he is aggressive and bad tempered.

Or does he contribute nothing but work, stress & worry? He sounds really disengaged from his family. He clearly just wants to be left alone to smoke, play games and be the grouch that he really is.

It sounds like you have the full measure of him. We can't tell you what you don't already know. Tell us why you stay with him and I think we can talk practicalities. I reckon you're at that point now.


BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sun 21-Dec-14 18:07:10

How old is he, three? Getting an XBOX One from his Mummy and he couldn't even wait until Christmas Day to open it.

Actually, you were right to call him selfish because that's precisely what he is: a selfish and ungrateful cunt to demand you spend family money on him which can't be afforded. Something which could have been waited expectantly for and actually planned for: but no, he has the mental age of a fucking toddler so he can't wait. Make him pawn something precious of his own for his bloody tobacco money.

As for kicking stuff and throwing things at you, he needs to go on the naughty-step or better, chucked out.

pinkyredrose Sun 21-Dec-14 18:07:36

He sounds like a absolute fucking wanker and I'd bet my bottom dollar that your anxiety would ease if he weren't around.

GlitzAndGigglesx Sun 21-Dec-14 18:08:38

What a vile person! Take the game back in the morning that's money you need and he can quit smoking too if he wants to buy games over necessities for his family not that he should be

delaselva Sun 21-Dec-14 18:08:43

Would his mum take him in?

she sounds like a clueless article, bringing him an xbox when he has a partner and two children and another on the way.

She sounds like he's still her lilboy and it sounds like she indulges his total lack of responsibility and immaturity.

Does he ever storm off to his mum's to play xbox in peace? Taht'd be great really if he could go and do that forever.

oswellkettleblack Sun 21-Dec-14 18:11:38

An abusive fuckwit. That is what he is. I would not put up with behaviour like this from my son, much less a partner.

Lweji Sun 21-Dec-14 18:12:01

He sounds like my 9 year old, about wanting FIFA 15 at all costs, and nothing like him regarding the tantrum.

If the rest is like this you WILL be better off with him. Let his mum coddle him and put up with his tantrums. Because it will be worse after the baby.

AliceinWinterWonderland Sun 21-Dec-14 18:16:04

He went ballistic after I called him selfish, kicked the safety gate over, threw my phone at me and told me to fuck off and that I am a stupid bitch.

If you're not prepared to leave him over this type of behaviour right now, you need to make clear to him (or at the very least to yourself) that this is abuse and you cannot stay with someone that is abusive. If he does this again, he needs to leave, as you will need to report it to the police. (and you are well within your rights to report it now - or at the very least talk to someone from their domestic abuse unit)

Your safety and that of your children is priority. His games console is not.

Vivacia Sun 21-Dec-14 18:22:56

I wouldn't want a man like this anywhere near my children, let alone in the same house. His behaviour is violent, abusive and criminal.

alphabook Sun 21-Dec-14 18:23:03

He sounds like a child, and one with behavioural problems at that. Does he actually bring anything positive to your relationship? You sound like a single mother with soon to be 4 sons.

Vivacia Sun 21-Dec-14 18:23:24

And I reckon we could guess some of the "other stuff".

Vivacia Sun 21-Dec-14 18:24:17

I know that other posters are picking up on his selfishness and immaturity, but comparing him to another child is minimising the seriousness of his behaviour in my opinion.

Cabrinha Sun 21-Dec-14 18:29:09

I agree with Vivacia. Don't minimise this into him being sulky and selfish - though he is those things.

He physically assaulted you. Throwing things at you, is a physical attack.

It will get worse, it isn't safe to stay. And who would want to stay with him anyway?

You are so affected by his demands that you would give up money you need for your children's Xmas for him to have a computer game. That is not a healthy place to be love. Look out for yourself. sad

Lweji Sun 21-Dec-14 18:29:10

I'm actually saying that my 9 year old is more mature and considerate.
You really shouldn't put up with such behaviour, which is, yes, abusive. And as I said, it will be worse after the birth. You should get rid of him now, as later it will be harder.
Do you think he'll leave or would you have to?

pinkyredrose Sun 21-Dec-14 18:35:07

Cabrinha is right it will get worse. Physical abuse always does. OP he's massively abusive, I'd bet that he's sexually aggressive too given how hugely entitled he acts.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Sun 21-Dec-14 18:38:38

OMG, love. He sounds like a massive arse. I actually read most of your post thinking your DP's mum had bought the Xbox for your DS1 - had to re-read! But it would fit - because this is the behaviour of a spoilt child, not a partner and father.

But I take/agree with vivacia's point. So - he kicked stuff, threw your phone at you, called you a stupid bitch. This is violent behaviour. This is unacceptable. All in the family home/ in front of your dc?

Sounds like you are walking on eggshells around him, he's moody, you try to placate him. This is not healthy in a relationship. You need to prepare to end this relationship. You need to talk to him firmly that his behaviour is unacceptable and that this is the last time you will tolerate it. And if you don't feel able to do this - then things are very bad indeed - contact Women's Aid. Either, this behaviour stops now or he's goes off to his mum's.

Macloveswill Sun 21-Dec-14 18:44:35

flowers sorry you're going through this. If he can be so aggressive, it does sound as though you may have to put some long term plans in place to protect yourself and the children. Good luck!

gamerchick Sun 21-Dec-14 18:51:59

He sounds like a massive dick. I'm sorry man.. grown ups wait to buy the game they want and don't throw tantrums over it.

What do you want to happen now? He's massively stepped over a line.

RubbishMantra Sun 21-Dec-14 20:55:40

Sounds just like an ex of mine. He used to spend 9am until 7pm on his console. When I got in from work, he'd get annoyed if I asked to watch something on my TV,instead of watching bloody Call of Duty. He'd even tantrum if he lost a game, which of course would be my fault(!?!)

My life consisted of not doing anything he may construe as annoying. Just ugh. It won't get any better, these kinds of entitled child-men usually turn into violent bullies of the highest order.

One of the happiest (albeit scary) days of my life was the day I threw him out.

He should be putting you first at 36 weeks pregnant, not tantrumming that his mum didn't buy him the right game to accompany the expensive games console.

pinkyredrose Sun 21-Dec-14 22:58:45

OP how are you now? I'm quite worried about you.

cestlavielife Sun 21-Dec-14 23:00:53

Sorry but you needs to send him home to his mummy. Let her deal with his tantrums.
And get some proper support in place for you and dc.
He got violent over a game !
Tell your midwife.

Does your family support you practically ? You going to need some practical help .

If he kicks off again throws things kick him put and call police. Phone could have hit small child caused injury.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Sun 21-Dec-14 23:03:25

You are living with an abusive man

Leave, with your children, and then he can smash the place up to his heart's content while croons lovingly to his X Box

men like this don't deserve to have a family

Tyzer85 Sun 21-Dec-14 23:03:55

The guy sounds like a cunt, tell him that he can go home for Christmas and beyond.

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