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Party fear

(16 Posts)
pieceofpurplesky Sat 20-Dec-14 17:14:16

So tonight I am going to a party. It will be the first time I will be there with my exH at the same one too .

He broke my heart last Christmas by deciding that our life was not enough and I didn't handle it well, having a complete breakdown and acting out if character ( nothing major just texting him all the time - to be fair to me he never has DS over night so texting was my only release as DS no longer sleeps!).

He has a group of friends who will also be there (including one woman who he previously disliked and is now food 'friends' with) and these friends have been quite cruel in their treatment of me (only believing what he has told them and bad mouthing me etc.).
I actually feel physically sick at going - not because of him but because of the four of his friends who have been so horrible - my own friends are all being super - making sure I am not going alone etc. but I am still really nervous.

Ex is a different man - I loved him and we were together a long time, I raised his dd - my dsd and we have our beautiful DS together. Life was pretty good but he 'wanted more'. I no longer want him back but do still love him on a way - despite
His appalling treatment of me and his lack of support with DS.
I am Being stupid to feel like this?

Quitelikely Sat 20-Dec-14 17:19:07

Why are you even going to this party? Some things just aren't worth the hassle

CogitOIOIO Sat 20-Dec-14 17:21:00

I also wonder why you'd even consider going. Life's far too short to spend evenings with people who have shat on you from a great height. Do something more fun perhaps?

FelicityGubbins Sat 20-Dec-14 17:21:53

If anything comes out of their moths just reply "ooh look, someone written the word gullible on the ceiling" in a sarcastic tone while pointing up.
And be grateful HE has shitbag friends while you have amazing ones.

FelicityGubbins Sat 20-Dec-14 17:22:39

*Mouths …

Wrapdress Sat 20-Dec-14 17:24:00

Good grief. Don't go. Why subject yourself to that?

DontGotoRoehamptonUniversity Sat 20-Dec-14 17:25:21

don't go! invite people you like round for a few drinks and a film, or watch a feel -good film alone or with your DS.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 20-Dec-14 17:25:47

Stay at home with your son instead, I would not be attending such an event and lowering myself even further.

I would also read up on co-dependency and see if that resonates at all with you now.

dirtybadger Sat 20-Dec-14 17:30:59

Don't go! Unless it's a huge party where you'll have lots of friends and you can avoid him. Anything else and find something else! Go to the cinema or for food or for a little drink with a friend or something.

pieceofpurplesky Sun 21-Dec-14 00:14:42

I went for an hour. Attila why would I be lowering myself to go to a close friends 50th? I held my head up, looked as good as I could and left without tears - am proud of myself and thankful for my amazing friends

GooodMythicalMorning Sun 21-Dec-14 00:17:35

Well done.

CogitOIOIO Sun 21-Dec-14 09:01:02

Given that you had a complete breakdown when he left your 'close friend' wasn't being very loyal to you inviting you both. hmm

wellcoveredsparerib Sun 21-Dec-14 09:43:36

I am surprised at those suggesting Op should stay at home.

Well done OP - onward and upward!

CogitOIOIO Sun 21-Dec-14 09:55:25

You're surprised? A party is meant to be a fun opportunity to let your hair down and relax over a few drinks. 'Head held high' & 'no tears' .... that's how you feel after a difficult funeral or some other traumatic event, not a party. Who needs the stress?

YoullLikeItNotaLot Sun 21-Dec-14 10:00:04

Well done. You've beaten that demon so to speak. Now you know you can handle it. I think facing things head on removes their power to hurt you. It might not feel it now but this will be a landmark in your "recovery"

pieceofpurplesky Sun 21-Dec-14 10:54:38

Thank you - I am pleased I did it. Friend invited us both as we have both been friends for years cog and I haven't broadcast my breakdown. It was something I needed to do

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