Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Very weird penis

(64 Posts)
Nais83 Sat 20-Dec-14 16:47:40

Ok I don't know who else to ask because quite frankly it's really embarrassing and it's really concerning me and I am worried that I will not be able to get over this... Many of you will laugh which is why I could not tell my friends. My partner and I werr together for six weeks before we had any sexual contact and last week was the first time we had any kind of sexual contact because I am very concerned that a man wants me for me I want to take it slow. I saw his penis for the first time and well it has a smile in literally looks like a face smiling... I really am freaked out by it but more than that I cannot imagine not seeing it when I look at it... It's like I feel I am being watched. It is formed by a combination of creases and two moles. Seriously I really don't see how anybody could look at it and not see what I am seeing. I love him, he is such a lively man and so very kind and I don't want to bring up the subject as it sounds totally bizarre but it's like having a face looking at me. Please give me advice...serious not joking advice

Applecrumbling Sat 20-Dec-14 16:50:01

The face aside, was the sex good?

IAmAPaleontologist Sat 20-Dec-14 16:50:24

Oh look. Schools broke up yesterday.

bumpthedoor Sat 20-Dec-14 16:50:32

A happy willy is a joy forever. Lucky you.

GilbertBlytheWouldGiftIt Sat 20-Dec-14 16:51:06

Pics or it didn't happen.

PacificDogwood Sat 20-Dec-14 16:51:31

Did it look like this: smile


gamerchick Sat 20-Dec-14 16:51:34

As long as it's clean and works then just ignore/shut your eyes.

You won't really be seeing much of it yet anyway will you as condoms cover it up.

GooodMythicalMorning Sat 20-Dec-14 16:52:38

Sounds lovely

Jackie0 Sat 20-Dec-14 16:52:58

Ffs I hate school hols hmm

Nais83 Sat 20-Dec-14 16:53:01

Yes the sex was good. And why do people have to be so judgemental I knew that would happen

12daysofpissedoff Sat 20-Dec-14 16:54:10

Maybe he was just pleased to see you?

LoisChristmasPuddingLane Sat 20-Dec-14 16:54:30

Cover it with creosote - you won't need to look at the smiley face then.

GilbertBlytheWouldGiftIt Sat 20-Dec-14 16:55:14

Just don't stare at it? At least it's a happy face, would be worse if it looked angry!

12daysofpissedoff Sat 20-Dec-14 16:56:10

I once knew someone whose bellend looked like Darth Vader's helmet. It didnt frighten me off ... wink

WhyYouGottaBeSoRude Sat 20-Dec-14 16:56:55

Embrace it. At least it's smiling. It could be hmm at you grin

PacificDogwood Sat 20-Dec-14 16:59:02

We are not judgemental - just taking the piss grin

I agree, be thankful: it could have been a critical face, like so hmm

ClashCityRocker Sat 20-Dec-14 17:01:34

Are penises usually creased?

dirtybadger Sat 20-Dec-14 17:02:11

Moles or warts?

I think you'll get over it though. Try to just think of it as a quirk.

Applecrumbling Sat 20-Dec-14 17:03:11

Well if the sex is good and you're attracted I think you'll get used to it

LoisChristmasPuddingLane Sat 20-Dec-14 17:06:26

What's worse is if your partner has a bent penis and you have a vagina that is also a bit off kilter.

TheSpottedZebra Sat 20-Dec-14 17:06:58

Nobody knows it, but he's got a secret smile..

PacificDogwood Sat 20-Dec-14 17:08:46

grin Zebra

RattieBagTheOldHag Sat 20-Dec-14 17:13:06

I don't believe you get 'moles' on the end of willies???

Now there's a phrase I didn't think I'd ever need.

niceupthedance Sat 20-Dec-14 17:16:57

Put a condom on it

GarlicDrankTheChristmasSpirit Sat 20-Dec-14 17:18:54

Oooh, Lois, you're not wrong there!

A distorted young fellow named Fred
Had a tool with a corkscrew-shaped head.
He found, having hunted,
A girl similarly-cunted,
But - alas! - with a left-handed thread.


Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: