Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Xmas Card / STBXW

(20 Posts)
Rioux Sat 20-Dec-14 12:54:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntieStella Sat 20-Dec-14 12:58:12

Yes, overthinking a bit.

An ordinary card, with printed festive message. Just use her name and sign yours.

(If I write my cards early enough, I would add a few personal lines in each, but I think better skipped in these circumstances)

dirtybadger Sat 20-Dec-14 14:25:32

Why are you even bothering? I don't send Xmas cards anyway but sounds like you'll see her, do you need to give her a card? I don't see the point in giving cards except for a "thinking of you at this time of year" (which a card in itself says) message to those who you dont see often or won't see over the Xmas period. Don't bother. Sorted.

QueenMartha Sat 20-Dec-14 14:35:53

To STBXW

Merry Christmas

Rioux.

I personally wouldn't send a card but if you do I would just keep it simple. Has she sent you a card? What do you expect it'll say inside if she does?

If you don't think wishing her a 'happy' Christmas is appropriate then why are you even sending a card?

Rioux Sat 20-Dec-14 15:34:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tinks42 Sat 20-Dec-14 15:46:04

She is finding the whole thing hard and we see too much of each other etc and still wants me back etc etc

Even more of a case to send a "simple" card and definitely not one that is "wife" related.

tribpot Sat 20-Dec-14 15:48:15

Agree with Tinks, don't give her any kind of false hope. Just a regular card, none of this 'To my [whatever]' stuff.

Gfplux Sat 20-Dec-14 16:05:41

IMO do not send a card. If your wife wants to get back together she will interpret any thing you do as some form of bridge back to her.

Rioux Sat 20-Dec-14 20:47:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HansieLove Sat 20-Dec-14 21:36:08

Why don't you stay somewhere else?

worserevived Sat 20-Dec-14 22:02:25

God you're being cruel. You might not realise it, but you are. If you instigated the break, and she wants to get back together, give her space to grieve and get over the end of the marriage. Stop spending days together playing happy families. It gives not just her but the dcs hope that you will get back together. Don't see her on painful days like anniversaries or christmas. Give her head space to get over you and find someone else who does actually want a future with her. She's trapped in limbo here, wondering if you'll come back. It must hurt like hell. I feel really sorry for her.

Forget about the card.

quirkycutekitch Sat 20-Dec-14 22:08:31

Don't get her a card - my ex got me one - I don't know why he bothered! I will not be getting him one.

quirkycutekitch Sat 20-Dec-14 22:13:52

Oh & he also bought me poinsettia - why?????

kittensinmydinner Sat 20-Dec-14 22:14:17

Why are you torturing her like this ? why have you split ?

TracyBarlow Sat 20-Dec-14 22:16:06

Please give her some space. She needs you to step back from this as she's clearly very emotional at the moment. I also feel sorry for her.

Rioux Sat 20-Dec-14 22:29:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

quirkycutekitch Sat 20-Dec-14 22:49:28

You sound a lot like my ex - you will never be best friends again - you left her! She prob Hates you at worst thinks you're a dick at best!

Hobbitwife001 Sat 20-Dec-14 23:15:39

You have obviously emotionally detached yourself from your wife so you can leave your family and not seem to have any guilt or remorse for the break up. You are being very cold and matter of fact about a very emotional situation , and I do feel that your wife is being given mixed messages while trying to do the best thing for your children. It doesn't hurt any less, it's still a rejection of her and the life you had together.

CheeseBuster Sat 20-Dec-14 23:22:53

I think you should get a card, it's nice. Just a plain one though not a specially bought one. My parents split when I was young and it was nice to see them act like nice people and they always did and still do get each other Xmas and birthday gifts and cards. Nothing personal but practical things just as a token of respect I guess.

TheNewWitchOfSWL Sat 20-Dec-14 23:34:26

Get a card fro her.
To (her name)
*card message*
From Rioux.

Also get a card to each of your children, so hers won't stand out.

I am a;so recently separated and whilst my ex is finding it hard and have high hopes, I am emotionally detached and accused of "being cold"…

I know how you feel. You are better than me, I would never spend any festive date with my ex and would never have hugged a crying ex, but this is my issue.
Be careful not to send mixed messages.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now