Hi there
I really need some help to put my life into perspective please.
I lived a reasonably uneventful life until very recently but now it has imploded.
3 months ago, my DP's step father became ill and sadly has very recently died. During his illness, by a cruel twist of fate, my own father was diagnosed with the same condition and it's touch and go if he will make it until Christmas.
So DP's side of the family is bereaved and I am going through hell watching my DF suffering and slowly dying.
DP and I have tried to manage. He would travel up to stay with his DM and I would hold the fort at home and keep my DF going in hospital.
DP has been as supportive all round as he can be.
However...his bereaved and newly widowed DM is obviously lonely and wants to spend time with her son, my DP. Understandable. But after a particularly harrowing hospital visit to my DF, I was completely pissed off that DP had invited her to stay at short notice. I felt I needed some quiet time at home, as it's my coping strategy, not days of MIL and her grief. I wouldn't refuse but just felt immense pressure, panic and annoyance that I wasn't given any option anyway.
So...DP went mad and threw me out. He says I am callous, unsupportive and selfish. 8 days on, I am not allowed back except to pick up my belongings and I am alone with my father's impending death, no home and no relationship.
I struggle to know if I was being unreasonable to DP or if he was to me. Or if we are both guilty. For the record, I did apologise for my outburst and gave no indication to MIL I was upset and struggling when she arrived.
(ex)DP is still furious with me for all this and says I got what I deserved. Did I? I just need some input to help me process what he is saying.
Any help will be greatly appreciated.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Feeling aggrieved
seasider123 · 20/12/2014 11:34
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