Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Ex is playing mind games with me...

(10 Posts)
rubbishtvmovie Fri 19-Dec-14 11:51:57

I split up with my ex recently.

He rang me up the other day and told me how much he loved me and that i was the most wonderful person he had ever met etc.

He rang up again yesterday, asked me to go to his. He said that he had bought me and my DC some Christmas presents (some sounded like they were quite expensive etc). He invited me to go to his (I had the night off as my DC were with their Dad). He said that he finds me very attractive, that he was really horny etc and wanted to 'rip my clothes off' etc. I said no, I won't come round etc. He said that he was so horny and that he would have to ring me back as he needed to have a wank to sort himself out hmm I got the impression from these phone calls that this meant that he wanted us to get back together etc.

Anyway he rang back and then started saying that perhaps it was a good idea that I didn't come round seeing as we are not together anymore. I said well what was all this talk about him loving me, him wanting me to come to his and him buying us presents etc. Told him it sounded like mixed messages and that I am definitely glad that I did not go to his as it would have just been for sex and it would have made me feel used.

He denied saying that he had said that he loved me or that he was sending mixed messages etc.

This is the nail in the coffin for me now. I just felt like he was messing me around.

hesterton Fri 19-Dec-14 11:54:58

What a deeply unpleasant man. I certainly wouldn't engage with him again, especially as he's not your children's dad.

Fudgeface123 Fri 19-Dec-14 12:00:39

He wanted a shag so thought by telling you he loved you, got you expensive presents etc. you'd be round there to sort him out.

magoria Fri 19-Dec-14 12:01:08

Block contact if he is not your DC father you have no need to read his mind games.

AdoraBell Fri 19-Dec-14 12:06:35

He was just trying to get a shag.

Block his number, you've already worked out that he's no good for you. Well done.

GoatsDoRoam Fri 19-Dec-14 12:35:18

He sounds horrible.

The gifts nonsense is pure manipulation. It's not generosity: it's a hook to try and reel you in.
The needing a wank thing is just gross - on what planet is that flattering?
And then gaslighting you.

If you are still receiving calls from him this way, you need to increase your barriers for contact. Block his number, or change phone numbers if your provider doesn't block numbers. Change email address. Block him on social media. The lot. You need iron-clad defenses against receiving these messages that mess with your head, if you are to move on properly.

CogitOIOIO Fri 19-Dec-14 12:48:15

Drop contact for all but essentials. He can only mess with your mind if you engage with him.

LadyBlaBlah Fri 19-Dec-14 13:55:01

Did he ACTUALLY say he needs to go for a wank?!?!

Romantic fool he is

rumbleinthrjungle Fri 19-Dec-14 15:54:30

I think you were used for phone sex, OP. sad

FunkyBoldRibena Fri 19-Dec-14 15:59:11

It's not mind games, it's blatant shagbagging. Come on - wake up a bit!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now