I don't have anyone to turn to as my situation is quite complicated... I'm in need of some good advice right now.
I recently moved to another part of the country to study and moved into a houseshare with 7 other people. Within a few weeks one of the men here made it known he was interested in me. He is a dad of two in the process of going through a divorce. I really liked him and he made an effort to try and bump into me after work, eventually we started to go on dates. Other people in the house commented on how much happier we both were, particularly him. After a few weeks though he started to blow hot and cold and would start to find faults in us. This was around the time we contemplated taking things further. Whilst I was at work, he sent me a message telling me he wasn't ready for a relationship and that he still wanted to be friends. I tried to deal with it as well as I could, so I avoided him - I stopped talking to him and bumping into him around the house. I was so busy anyway that this came naturally and I began to get over it.
One of my housemates told he was seeing someone else. It really annoyed me that he had told me he couldn't deal with a relationship because of his mariage breakdown, yet he was meeting someone else? So I kept my feelings to myself, and I was jealous. Not long after this, we had a heart to heart and he told me he broke it off with her because all he thinks about is me. The conversation was a bit confusing but stupidly I saw this as a window of opportunity - he still liked me. So, we ended up spending a lot of time together again and I stayed at his regularly. I began to develop feelings - the excitement of seeing him, butterflies... I knew I was falling in love... in some ways I tried to fight it because I was scared something would happen again.
He invited me to his work's Christmas do and at the end of the night I told him how I felt. He told me he loves me too, but he has all these feelings inside of how his life used to be, how he hates/loves his ex-wife, how he hates his situation. He said I came at the worst time and he wished he had met me at a different time. At the end of the night he told me he loved me - and in the morning we went out together. I found out he went on a date three days after I told him how I felt. In the heat of the moment, I told him we shouldn't speak again. He was confused, saying he wants us stay the way we have been and enjoy each other's company. Now he is avoiding me, has deleted me of social networks and is ignoring me.
I don't know what to do anymore, it's such a confusing relatiionship and alarm bells are ringing, but I can't help but love him and it hurts. He is going to make our housing situation awkward. Feelings aside, he is one of two in the house who I can have a decent conversation with. So I've lost a friend too. Any advice would be helpful.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
In love with housemate, please help..
rjh149 · 18/12/2014 13:58
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