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Is there any point in this?

(14 Posts)
MoonshineWashingLine Wed 17-Dec-14 23:51:00

I've gotten myself in to an odd situation...

Met a guy from a dating website a few months ago. We've had some lovely dates, we talk online every day, everything is going really well and we like each other quite a bit. Then he drops a bombshell. He's going to Australia in February for a very long time.

Now as much as I like him, he seems to have known about this for some time but declined to mention it till a couple of weeks ago. First he was saying he's not sure if he's going or not but today he said he is definitely going.

I guess I now have 2 choices. Enjoy the next couple of months of dates and stuff with him or just knock it on the head... I really like him but I can't decide whether to enjoy it for the little fling it clearly is or to just leave it. What would you do?

BOFster Wed 17-Dec-14 23:52:37

I'd just back off a bit and keep my options open, I think.

PoppyField Wed 17-Dec-14 23:56:39

I second backing off.

You have no idea whether he really is going to go to Oz, it may be something he always says so that he can get out of one relationship seamlessly and straight into another without having to go through all that awkward emotional stuff that he can't be bothered with.

If that's the case, do knock it on the head now with your dignity intact.

MoonshineWashingLine Thu 18-Dec-14 00:12:22

Oh no, he's definitely going to Oz. He's a traveller... he's been all over the world. Already lived over there once and has work out there.

What bothers me is that he wasn't honest from the get go. He should have told me straight away really but he didn't... he says he wasn't sure if he was going to go or not but I'm not sure I believe him. I think he was always going to go but he didn't want to say anything because he wouldn't exactly be able to get any dates if he put that on his profile would he?! And he said he wasn't just after sex... pffft.

excitedbutscared Thu 18-Dec-14 00:22:35

The more you see him, the more you may fall for him... The harder it will be. Then you'd need to consider waiting formhim too!

AtrociousCircumstance Thu 18-Dec-14 00:25:42

Yeah, sounds like he lied to you. Or at least wasn't honest.

If he'd said, 'I'm off to to Oz in a few months. Fancy a brief fling before I vanish?' you would have been able to make an informed choice.

It was underhand of him. Even if he wasn't sure, he should have told you it was a real possibility.

AtrociousCircumstance Thu 18-Dec-14 00:26:31

So yes, I'd end things now if i were you, and tell him you don't think it was fair of him to withhold that information.

MoonshineWashingLine Thu 18-Dec-14 00:26:46

Oh no, I would not wait... he will be out there minimum 18 months, probably permanently if he can.
I was thinking the more time we spend together the harder it will be to say goodbye... I think backing off a bit is probably a good idea.

MoonshineWashingLine Thu 18-Dec-14 00:31:46

Yes Atrocious, it certainly would have been better if he'd told me from the start... Shame, I thought this one might have been decent. Oh well...

dirtybadger Thu 18-Dec-14 00:32:37

If the sex/dates are bloody amazing maybe carry on but less often so that you're less involved. But really I think knock it on the head. Definitely don't keep seeing someone once or twice a week for a few months. You could get doing something much more productive!

VanitasVanitatum Thu 18-Dec-14 00:35:49

He should absolutely have told you. What was he doing on dating sites?? Surely he must know people are mainly looking for lasting relationships and that you were investing in him?

I call that mean.

BOFster Thu 18-Dec-14 00:37:00

Eighteen months? Blimey. Yes, knock it on the head. Time waster.

misskangaandroo2014 Thu 18-Dec-14 00:59:05

I had a fantastic fling with a guy I knew was leaving the country. So much fun, I probably held back, but we did have some fun dates and times. I was a bit sad when he left but perhaps as sad as a good friend moving away, not heartbroken.

MoonshineWashingLine Thu 18-Dec-14 08:10:12

Yeah on the one hand I might just perhaps see him a couple more times... bit of xmas fun and that!

On the other hand, as dirtybadger said, I could be doing something more productive....

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