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(3 Posts)
hitalownote Wed 17-Dec-14 23:15:47

i recently hit a very low point in life. i had another thread where i just couldn't see any positive to my life.
I have been to see gp and had a councelling session. Which has helped enormously but i still feel as if i'm not being 100% honest with myself in my life. I'm afraid to admit a few things.
I am usually someone who can deal with things and piece the puzzle together quite well and continue day to day achieving things.
But i'm afraid to actually speak up for I want to achieve. i realise i have been trying to fix other people or help them achieve things. They are not my own wants and desires and dreams. I do have my own but theyare pushed to the back and now i've got to the stage where I am too afraid to voice them and act.
Take for example my partner. we don't live together due to work commitments. also i don't want to uproot my dc yet. She is a priority in my life.

Recently i needed his support on my low point day and he wasn't there for me. I went nc as i felt totally take for granted and snapped. I was so angry at myself for asking his help as i rarely do and him not realising the importance. But he arrived at my door a day later and asked what was going on. This journey took him considerable time. We talked and i do love him and me him. And he said i need to open up to him when feeling down.
But i feel i can't. I think the reason is because of my pride but also because he seems quiet content on having this relationship as it is. In my goal i want, i would like us to move forward and move in together. What's the point of a relationship if it doesn't progress to another stage.But he is showing no signs. tells me to take it easy that there is no rush. There isn't in a way. But i feel it says alot about our relationship. I have decided to continue it but everyday that passes now i feel what's the point. it's been 4 years and altough he has made some progress towards settling he hasn't said it in black and white. I feel i'm in limbo with my own plans and hate this feeling. I don't want to break up, i do communicate badly at times but he is aware i want plans for a future, but i feel i'm slowly letting this go because it's like groundhog day and I don't want to at all.
Any advice would be welcome but i realise it's completely confusing to the outsider looking in.!

dadwood Thu 18-Dec-14 00:29:29

What I get from your post is that you have a plan for the future but you aren't getting commitment from your partner or support and without these being demonstrated, you don't feel secure enough to move to the next stage of your plan. Can't fault you for that, I think you need to know that your partner has his heart in it as well.
It sounds like he is procrastinating and you are getting frustrated. Is that right?
Sounds like a serious talk is in order about whether he really shares your plans.

dadwood Thu 18-Dec-14 00:45:13

Is the thing about not wanting to open up to him specific to your plans for the future or is it the same for any subject? What happens when you open up to him when you need support?

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