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When a friend turns out to not really be that

(6 Posts)
sophiabella Tue 16-Dec-14 20:55:31

I am really upset and disappointed in who I thought was my best friend. We have been best friends for years and usually speak every day, go out at the weekend, share everything. But when I got my BFP she barely contacted me and ignored my messages and things. I had a MC and when I told her she didn't say a lot but now has started inviting me out places again. I now know what she is really like- basically I'm only her friend when I can go out and have fun so it seems. It's really upset me as I thought we were good friends. I keep wondering what I've done wrong but apart from getting pregnant I can't think what? I really miss her and it really upsets me. I've tried to ask her outright but she's just shrugged it off and told me i'm paranoid sad

WorrisomeMummy Tue 16-Dec-14 21:01:52

I've been in a similar situation myself, a friend stopped talking to me when I had my BFP, then I miscarried at 16 weeks and all of a sudden she was all over me again like a rash. Turned out she has had 3 miscarriages in the past and struggles around pregnant people. Could it be something like that in your situation OP? x

sophiabella Tue 16-Dec-14 21:09:50

Oh I'm not sure, I hadn't thought of that. The thing is we tell each other everything so I would have thought she'd have told me if she did. She had a scare a few months ago and I was the first person she rang to talk to about it... hmm... I may try and talk to her again but she's not doing well with when I try to talk to her. When I ask what's wrong and why she is avoiding me she snaps at me and tells me I'm being paranoid and to stop pushing her :s

Quitelikely Tue 16-Dec-14 21:22:43

If I was you I would back right off. She has shown her true colours and for whatever reason she does not like you being pregnant. That's just downright selfish and not how a best friend would behave.

Also if you do make up with her be prepared to be dropped again as soon as your pregnant. Some people are just a*^^#holes. They really are.

eddielizzard Tue 16-Dec-14 21:23:36

it's truly shit when you realise you're not as close as you thought, or a friend doesn't support you when you need it. give the benefit of the doubt, very rarely are good friendships perfect. it might be that you may drift apart when you have kids, or it might just be a blip. she might be desperate to have kids, and just doesn't want to talk about it.

sorry about your miscarriage. it is hard, and a lot of people don't understand how upsetting it is.

sophiabella Tue 16-Dec-14 21:28:55

Thank you xx i always imagined that when i gor pregnant that i would be confiding in her and getting excited and talking it all through with her. I also imagined she would be here for me during a mc. Now i know what she is like i will always have that in my mind and its really sad. A few months ago we were joined at the hip. Just wish she would tell me!

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