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Dont know what advice to give

(5 Posts)
wannabslim Tue 16-Dec-14 19:50:53

My friend confided in me today that she has known for quite some time that her partner occassionally looks at and possibly chats too other women on dating sites. Hes a nice guy who does look after her, and they only see each other at weekends due to work commitments. The thing is, I know she has done the same, purely for flattery and that is all. I feel I should be telling her to walk away, but you can see how much they love each other when they are together, and I dont want to upset her, as im not actually sure that would be the right thing to say. I suppose I am now asking You guys for advice on what you would do?
Thanks in advance

CogitOIOIO Tue 16-Dec-14 20:09:39

Did she ask you for your opinion? Did she seem unhappy? If she chats to people online for an ego boost, maybe she thinks him doing the same thing is OK?

wannabslim Tue 16-Dec-14 20:21:01

She didnt really ask an opinion, it was more in a passing conversation really. She seemed disappointed, but then did pass comment on how when shes done it in the past, theres been nothing meant to it, and it is purely flattery and she genuinely thinks that this is the same with him. She has very low self esteem and always thinks her partner can do better, and therefore will probably look elsewhere, but I dont think he will. I think she now feels she is having her fears confirmed.

Heyho111 Tue 16-Dec-14 20:47:03

It's their business. Leave them too it.

CogitOIOIO Tue 16-Dec-14 21:39:29

You can sometimes get further with gentle questioning than you can with hard hitting 'advice'. Even if someone appears to have rationalised a problem away, you can always check ..... 'are you really OK with that?' I suspect she mentioned it because she isn't happy with the way things are going. Contrary to the way you originally described the guy, he's not all that nice

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