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Is that it then?

(7 Posts)
Heynowheynow Mon 15-Dec-14 21:03:19

DH last night said things I don't think I can ever forgive. Really, really hurtful - criticising me as a mother and as a human being.

We had been arguing sparked off by tiredness and frustration of two poorly children that don't sleep great.

I don't feel like I can forgive him for the comments.

He's said sorry but I don't think they can be taken back.

It's made me feel totally different about him.

CogitOIOIO Mon 15-Dec-14 21:07:14

I think you have to tell your husband that sorry doesn't cut it, and that his attitude has made you question the whole relationship. ... which is true. Then take your time to think about how you feel and what you want to do.

Heynowheynow Mon 15-Dec-14 21:10:48

That's basically what I've said. He's happily playing computer games downstairs thinking life just goes on and I'm stubbornly continuing an argument.

I can't forgive.

CogitOIOIO Mon 15-Dec-14 21:14:02

If he's not taking you seriously or making a big effort to make amends then that adds injury to insult. How about telling him to leave for a few days?

Heynowheynow Mon 15-Dec-14 21:24:42

Asking him to leave sounds like I'm bothered but do you know what? I'm bored of it all. I'm disgusted that he thinks of me in the way he let out last night but I don't want to argue or make a point and have him begging me for forgiveness.

It's just changed things in an irrevocable way as deep down I know that's what his true thoughts are about the woman he's supposed to love.

He hates me. His words were not designed to hurt me, it was as if he'd just let the truth about how he really feels.

I feel unloved by the one person I thought did love me.

nrv0us Mon 15-Dec-14 21:58:11

Oof -- sounds like it's not just what he said but how he said it. Does he have any idea how badly he overstepped the line? Id this unusual from him? Sounds like it's happened before.

Handywoman Mon 15-Dec-14 22:10:48

That's awful, so sorry thanks

Similar thing happened in my marriage. Verbal abuse. Not just the content but the contempt and hatred. He crossed a line.

I gave an ultimatum (sort your anger or go). He papered over the cracks for a while but it was futile. He hated(s) me.

In the end I left him. Really sorry his has happened. thanks

Any way you can get some thinking time away from him?

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