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When was enough, enough for you?

(11 Posts)
magicgirl79 Mon 15-Dec-14 14:46:58

I have not been cheated on or abused but feel my relationship is done, im lost and scared that I feel this way.
My other half doesn't work and I provide all financial aspects to our life, I sometimes feel I would be just as well alone with our child.
I don't go out with friends as he is not keen on the idea and in times I have been out I feel a little anxious and slightly guilty that im having fun. Sometimes even when im having a laugh at work I feel guilty, I come home and he has just been sat there, no housework done etc unless I request it! Which I shouldn't have to considering I do it without request.
But the flip side is I feel scared to leave to be alone and how out child will feel. I sometimes just block it all out but it keeps coming back, I just don't know when enough is enough of feeling this way.

CookieLady Mon 15-Dec-14 14:48:54

Does he look after your dc whilst you're at work?

hellsbellsmelons Mon 15-Dec-14 14:52:04

You are writing this post so you have reached your point.
We are all different.
But no way would I be supporting anyone who wasn't pulling their weight.
That means childcare. Housework. Shopping. Cooking. Cleaning. Anything possible to make your life easier.
He's not doing that at all.
What does he bring exactly?
Is he romantic with you?
Do you feel loved and cherished?
Do you actually like him or even love him?
I think you know it's time to kick him out.
So do it. It's hard and it's scary to begin with but in a few months time you'll be so glad you did.

CogitOIOIO Mon 15-Dec-14 14:53:31

To answer your thread title, everyone has their own limits. Personally, I'd take huge exception to a lazy freeloader who tried to make me feel guilty about going out and enjoying myself.

paddlenorapaddle Mon 15-Dec-14 14:55:37

i call cocklodger

AskMeAnother Mon 15-Dec-14 15:19:48

seconded

magicgirl79 Mon 15-Dec-14 16:05:22

He will do things around the house if I ask him too, otherwise it is left to me.
DC is at school and I am home in time to collect her, so that's me too.

I don't know, its scary but I have changed, I keep thinking if this is my daughters situation in years to come, what would I do?

Its scary to start again.

Joysmum Mon 15-Dec-14 16:11:12

Enough is enough when you aren't happy and you think there's little chance of things changing enough for you to be happy...or you're past caring.

CogitOIOIO Mon 15-Dec-14 17:03:53

Would it really be scary? What part would be 'starting again' exactly? Seems to me that if you came home one day and he simply wasn't there, you'd struggle to notice.... hmm

Ragwort Mon 15-Dec-14 17:34:17

Exactly what would be 'scary' about being on your own?

You are living with someone who appears to do nothing, earn nothing and contribute nothing to bringing up your child hmm.

Picture yourself coming home to your own home, with your child, having a lovely pleasant evening, having the confidence to invite friends round for a meal/coffe/glass of wine. Imagine yourself just relaxing and enjoying your life. What is scary about that?

And yes, it's a really good point to ask yourself what advice you would give your daughter if she was in the same situation.

You know what the answer is, start making plans now. Good luck.

magicgirl79 Mon 15-Dec-14 18:00:09

Not sure what is so scary as I know im capable of doing it alone, think its just the prospect of a whole new life, telling my parents and friends and I guess anyone else who knows us x

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