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What would you think?

(10 Posts)
TantricShift Mon 15-Dec-14 12:13:39

I found out recently through an acquaintance that my DH has was planning to meet another mutual female acquaintance for lunch on a visit to London. We met her on a retreat some years ago and have been Facebook friends with her but hardly anything more for years so was surprised that DH was planning to meet her. I'm not sure what to make of it. He hasn't mentioned it to me. I am more than happy for him to meet up with her but I am just wondering why he hasn't spoken about it.

An old ex of mine recently asked if we could meet with our children (from our current relationships) and when I checked it out with DH he was unhappy for us to do so. I respected his wishes as I understood how it might feel if it were the other way round. I know he isn't an ex of this friend but I feel uncomfortable with the situation. Does it sound dodgy?

AuntieStella Mon 15-Dec-14 12:16:22


Not because of having a friend of the opposite sex, but because if the secrecy attached to the meeting. Because if you weren't aware of the correspondence building an ordinary friendship, why is it hidden?

TantricShift Mon 15-Dec-14 12:18:38

Hmmm yes I agree. Bloody idiot. No wonder he doesn't like me meeting up with an ex, it seems he may be projecting his own thinking.

BuzzardBirdRoast Mon 15-Dec-14 12:18:43

I think the first thing I would do is to ask him what his plans are on that day because maybe you were planning on going with him. See if he tells you. If he doesn't then you have something to be concerned about.

Windywenceslas Mon 15-Dec-14 12:25:05

It seems odd he hasn't mentioned it. I agree, ask him what his plans are and see if he mentions it.

It could be something, it could be nothing.

TantricShift Mon 15-Dec-14 12:25:28

Yes. I just find it odd that he wants to meet up with someone we have only known briefly and haven't seen for years (except on Facebook). I understand liking someone and wanting to get to know them better but when you are in a relationship then I think it has to be done very carefully. I certainly don't go meeting guys I hardly know for lunch these days even if I really connect with them. I have a male friend who DH knows very well with whom I spend time occasionally but I usually have 2 kids with me so it really isn't anything dodgy. It's just odd.

BuzzardBirdRoast Mon 15-Dec-14 12:27:08

You are going to have to ask him sharpish though before your informant tells him that he has been rumbled. You need it to be an innocent question.

TantricShift Mon 15-Dec-14 12:32:30

I think I will. Thank you. I just needed to check I wasn't being overly suspicious.

BuzzardBirdRoast Mon 15-Dec-14 12:37:06

There might be nothing to be suspiscious about tbh. You won't know unless he completely lies to you. It might have completely not crossed his mind or he might have thought he has already told you. I forget stuff all the time.


Book something to do with him that day a day out etc. If he looses it and gets funny you know you have trouble on your hands...

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