Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Revenge. Would you?

(43 Posts)
whattodo1979 Sun 14-Dec-14 15:42:17

A dish best served hot, cold or not at all?
Just found out boyfriend, now ex, has been cheating on me. He left his works email open on my computer and has been emailing OW, as well as me from his work account. I've a good mind to tell his boss how many personal emails he's been sending in working hours and hope they fire his sorry ass.

WhatsGoingOnEh Sun 14-Dec-14 15:43:55

Keep your dignity. I doubt he'd get fired for sending emails, but I don't doubt for a minute that everyone in the office would laugh at you for trying to get him into trouble.

Coyoacan Sun 14-Dec-14 15:44:39

Revenge is best just imagined, IMHO.

Stripeyclock Sun 14-Dec-14 15:48:07

I agree with WhatsGoingonEh.

Your dignity is worth far more.

BrowersBlues Sun 14-Dec-14 15:48:27

Don't lower yourself. Keep your head high. Email the OW though.

FelicityGubbins Sun 14-Dec-14 16:00:41

I'd drop him in it with his boss, parents, ow and everyone else that might be even vaguely interested, but I'm a bitch!...

HamPortCourt Sun 14-Dec-14 16:03:31

Does he work with OW?

I suppose I might be tempted to forward one of the more salacious/embarrassing emails to everyone in the entire company

Then again, if you have DC with him or are in any way dependent on him keeping his job then no I wouldn't.

TwoNoisyBoys Sun 14-Dec-14 16:16:08

Coyoacan has it right on this one. It might make you feel good in the short term, but you'll probably look back and cringe at some point in the future! Just try to be glad you've got the idiot out of your life smile

whattodo1979 Sun 14-Dec-14 16:28:58

No he doesn't work with OW, I think hes been online dating or some such

Vivacia Sun 14-Dec-14 16:30:04

This would be a pretty rubbish revenge.

whattodo1979 Sun 14-Dec-14 16:32:06

Damn I was all set searching for the directors email etc. They have been clamping down on personal emailing, social media, texting and such in working hours but now I have to accept it'll just make me look foolish and bitter.

whattodo1979 Sun 14-Dec-14 16:34:10

His job is the only thing he seems to care about, not surprising in the current climate. He'd just started spending a lot more time with my DC etc, fuming doesn't come close.

Nomama Sun 14-Dec-14 16:34:50

Definitely email the OW... she may be grateful to receive such information. And if she isn't you did your bit to warn her, your conscience can remain clear. Be nice, she isn't the enemy and hasn't done anything to hurt you...

But not his boss, or anyone else. That would belittle you - however much fun it is to press Send on such a bomb!

nicenewdusters Sun 14-Dec-14 16:49:56

I agree with keeping the revenge as a fantasy.

I read recently that the best revenge is the one not taken. Didn't really agree at first, but the more I've thought about it I think that's probably right. A few moments of satisfaction would almost certainly have negative repercussions.

It's a massive cliche, but the best revenge really is to live well.

Or in other words in your case, f**k him !

Hatespiders Sun 14-Dec-14 19:30:38

Keep your dignity OP and move on. The OW has after all won the wooden spoon here. He isn't much good is he?

honeybunny14 Sun 14-Dec-14 19:36:12

Email the ow by all means. But to email his work place is a little extreamy.

honeybunny14 Sun 14-Dec-14 19:37:04

Extream I should say.

MiniTheMinxLovesMinxPies Sun 14-Dec-14 19:37:44

I don't think revenge makes you feel better, it just makes you feel bad and doubt yourself. Nice people don't seek revenge because bad things happen to bad people. Just keep repeating this, because he is bound to fall on his face eventually.

I would email the other woman though, she has a right to know that she has been cheated on.

whattodo1979 Sun 14-Dec-14 22:00:09

My anger is dying down now and I feel so lonely. I preferred it when I hated him than this.

WhatsGoingOnEh Sun 14-Dec-14 22:21:08

I know exactly what you mean. Anger is more enjoyable than sadness. sad

How long had you been together? Did you live together?

I'm so sorry this happened yo you. It's a REAL pisser. Do you have lovely friends and family to console you? Can you play a load of "fuck you" songs on your iPod while you do 150 angry crunches? Can you write a long mopey email to your best mate? (Not him!) Read an empowering break-up book? ("Don't Call That Man" is v good.)

It's a shit, it is. I know how you're feeling and it really is crap. I'm so sorry.

thatsn0tmyname Sun 14-Dec-14 22:23:15

Revenge means you're hurt. Keeping a dignified silence means you're moving on. Someone on here said "chin up, tits out". Love it.

WhatsGoingOnEh Sun 14-Dec-14 22:29:39

I know you miss your feisty anger, but there's nothing to say you have to lose your defiance. Personally, I LOVE defiance, I find it incredibly motivating. smile

So you won't lower yourself to email his work BUT you can still plot revenge... The really awesome FUCK YOU, I'LL SHOW YOU type of revenge thats really productive. Plot your total plan for world domination without him. Plan next year, how you're going to look gorgeous, do amazingly well at your job, live in a fab house, travel, save a fortune and just generally be FUCK OFF AWESOME. This is your chance to concentrate on YOU and how FABULOUS your life can be now. You show him! You totally ROCK your own life now and he'll hear about it and feel like a COMPLETE TWAT.

My favourite book ever is a trashy novel by Sidney Sheldon called "The Other Side of Midnight". The heroine, Noelle, gets jilted on her wedding day by a pilot, Larry. She responds by turning herself into a world famous model and actress, posing for publicity shots and doing endless films JUST because she lives for the day that Larry sees her successful face staring at him from a magazine and thinks, oh bugger, look what I missed.

It's not really a healthy story (!!) but she is BLOODY AWESOME in it and it's a lot more productive than crying in your pjs, sobbing over his facebook page and getting fat on ice-cream and gin (the other traditional break-up cures). smile

So, can you set a plan for a wonderful 2015? Just to lift your spirits a bit and keep that defiance going?

BlessedAndGr8fulNoInLaws4Xmas Sun 14-Dec-14 22:56:56

Fab post WhatsGoingOn. smile

WhatsGoingOnEh Sun 14-Dec-14 23:17:05

Awww! blush

Windywenceslas Mon 15-Dec-14 00:13:12

Get your revenge by finding your happiness. Show him that it's his loss not yours.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: