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Have you ever dated a man significantly shorter than you?

(44 Posts)
namechangeforthehundredthtime Sun 14-Dec-14 14:01:23

The reason I ask is that I recently dated a man who was a lot shorter than me - think by a foot.

It didn't bother me as otherwise I wouldn't of gone out with him but I think it bothered him as he was very insecure, jealous, controlling, egotistical. He didn't like it if I wore high heels or looked 'too nice' if we went out. I think he had a real Napolean complex I think.

I had previously dated someone who was only a tiny bit shorter than me (by maybe a cm) and again he had a real issue with it. I remember him once making us standing heel to head, backs up against each other with a book on our heads because someone had suggested that I was taller than him.

Is height a really big deal for men generally? I think it was for these two. I don't mind a man being shorter than me but I think I might be prejudiced against them now that I have dated a couple with such issues.

holdyourown Sun 14-Dec-14 14:07:21

shock book on head man sounds completely weird!
I think it very much depends on the man - don't let it put you off

Fingeronthebutton Sun 14-Dec-14 14:10:46

Not many of them around. I'm just on 5ft.

Moreisnnogedag Sun 14-Dec-14 14:15:26

I haven't but I do know short men who won't go out with women taller than them. Tbh though I think there is a social construct that men should be taller than women and comments probably do happen. I can't be too high and mighty about it as I wouldn't date a man shorter than me (DH is a foot taller than me and I love it smile ).

Moreisnnogedag Sun 14-Dec-14 14:15:45

Oh god ignore the pun.

Tangoandcreditcards Sun 14-Dec-14 14:19:11

I'm 5'8'' DP is 5'6''. He's the sweetest bloke ever, it's never been an issue; although his family are a bit obsessed with how tall 10 mo DS is going to be. (He's the tallest shock).

Ive dated a couple of others shorter too, 2 were lovely, 1 was a dick. I don't reckon height has much influence on personality, don't rule a whole bunch of shorties out!

My brothers are both married to women taller than them (both SILs over 6 foot), and I reckon my DBs are ok too. (And after some debate both brides wore heels at the weddings)

Tangoandcreditcards Sun 14-Dec-14 14:20:07

*DP is the tallest in his family, not my 10mo. If it wasn't clear!

balia Sun 14-Dec-14 14:22:11

DH is much shorter than me, it has never been an issue. I wear heels all the time because I like them. I think your problem is dating wankers, not short guys.

overslept Sun 14-Dec-14 14:23:02

I'm 5'9 and DP is 6 foot. EVERYBODY thinks I'm taller than him and we can't figure out why. Even his own mother thought I was taller than him... while we were stood side by side then she sort of went "ohhh yeah.. he IS taller"... grin

exWifebeginsat40 Sun 14-Dec-14 14:23:36

my current boyfriend is 2 inches shorter than me, weighing in at an impressive 5'3". i've never, ever been out with anyone shorter than me before and at 41 it's all new to me.

it was a bit weird to begin with, kissing someone without craning my neck up. i don't care any more - he's all-round awesome and height doesn't come into it unless i'm taking the piss out of him.

tall men are overrated. pocket rockets for the win.

TheMagicToyshop Sun 14-Dec-14 14:29:39

My exP was over 6 ft and he was an arse, current DP is the same height as me and lovely.
My sister's ex was only very slightly taller than her and he was nasty and would sulk if she wore heels (so she never did).
I think if a guy is a controlling sulky arse he will be an arse about whatever (including height if he's short), but bring short does not a controlling arsehole make - if that makes any sense!

snickers251 Sun 14-Dec-14 14:42:20

I'm not exactly the tallest at 5ft6 but I think I've only ever dated 1 man taller than me.

Most boyfriends have been the same of shorter including dh who is the same height as me.

Before I met dh my friends used to say I like short men grin

They never had a problem with it, tho I did use to wear smaller heals if it was just us going out.

sneepy Sun 14-Dec-14 14:49:44

At 5'1" it's never really been an option for me. DH is 5'6" and dated (before me of course!) women taller than him. It wasnt a problem for him at all and he's never been hung up on his height. I will say though that we fit together quite neatly and it's nice not to have to stand on my toes to kiss him.

ScrambledEggAndToast Thu 18-Dec-14 21:27:52

The chap I'm seeing isn't shorter than me but is definitely vertically challenged and is the shortest guy I have ever been out with. We met on POF and he told me he was 5' 5". I would say he's more like 5' 2" grin Fine by me as I'm also a midget at 5 foot!

NoArmaniNoPunani Thu 18-Dec-14 21:30:46

Yes I dated a homunculus. He had total small man syndrome and was a total nob

FelicityGubbins Thu 18-Dec-14 21:32:40

I'm about 2 inches shorter than my dh, but I live in 4" plus heels, so I always look taller than him...

Catypillar Thu 18-Dec-14 21:38:21

Dh is 5'6", I'm 5'9". Not a big deal for either of us. We don't even think about it- been together since we were teenagers so we're used to it. Once when we were dating we were walking down Argyle St in Glasgow and a Big Issue seller walking the other way shouted "Haw mate, she's taller than you." We thought it was so funny we ran after him and bought one of his magazines.

despomum41 Thu 18-Dec-14 21:41:20

my ex was was a cm shorter than me and yes he did have the `shortman complex syndrome` he was too confident stretching to rude, loud to the point that it was abit embarrassing in restaurants even my 6yr old son thought he was a pratt

fairyfuckwings Thu 18-Dec-14 21:41:28

My first proper boyfriend was a lot shorter than me - I think he's just over 5 foot.

We're still good friends and he's NEVER had a problem attracting women. He is a multi millionaire though. And he has a boat and a plane and a 12 inch cock...

ArthurSHappeyChristmas Thu 18-Dec-14 21:42:17

No probably because I'm 5'2". But I have friends (they're a lovely couple) she 6'1 and he's 5'7". She initially thought he was far too short for her and people would stare... But they don't. And the only guy she dated who was actually taller than her was a twat.

kaykayblue Fri 19-Dec-14 08:55:14

I've dated people taller than me and shorter than me, although generally it's only by a few cm in either direction.

I personally don't like dating very tall people. I'm pretty tall for a woman (5 foot 8 or 9), so I'm not used to looking up at many people. I think it would really annoy me to be honest. My partner is about one inch taller than me.

I think for the OP - just like every situation, you can't tar everyone with the same brush. No, not all guys are going to be like that, yes, those guys were complete twats.

However, I do think that some guys tend to be very very self conscious of their height. There seems to be an obsession with a lot of people that women only want to date people who are over 6 foot or something. I've definitely seen MRA types bring it up incessantly when women complain about how superficial a lot of men can be in the dating game (e.g. "if she's over a size ten I'm not interested" or "if her boobs aren't bigger than her head then I'm not interested").

I think as well amongst certain types of men, not being very tall is seen as some kind of personal failing, as it means you're in the "weaker" position of having to look up to taller guys, and you look less "imposing" or whatever bullshit.

18yearstooold Fri 19-Dec-14 08:59:56

When I was 19 I dated someone 7 inches shorter than me, he asked me if I would wear flats when we were out but didn't say anything or act differently when I didn't

My children's father is an inch shorter than me but always used to insist we were the same height and was paranoid about it

Reekypear Fri 19-Dec-14 09:01:53

No. Could not do it. Shortish it may be, but there you are.

arlagirl Fri 19-Dec-14 09:04:27

I'm six feet tall and h about 5 feet 10.
He hates me wearing heels.
As I am divorcing him atm, I am wearing heels every day.

Wouldn't bother me going out with someone say 5 feet 6. When you're as tall ase, you're really narrowing your options if you want taller.

GingerbreadPudding Fri 19-Dec-14 09:50:59

I dated a bloke who was probably about three inches shorter than me and it was incredibly tedious. He used to manoeuvre me slightly down a slope or off the kerb when he was going to kiss me and he constantly made remarks about it. I got so completely fed up about it that I ended it. I didn't have a problem with it to start with but he clearly did. Since then I've never been out with anyone less than four inches taller than me. My husband is nearly a foot taller. Perfect.

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