Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Could you give me your definition of intimacy and what it means to you?

(7 Posts)
TheFriar Sat 13-Dec-14 18:07:42

A lot of questions/musing about my own relationship with DH.
One of my issue is intimacy, as emotional intimacy as well as sexual.
What dies it mean to you? Can you get some intimacy from other people than your DH/DP?

overslept Sat 13-Dec-14 19:36:14

I don't think anybody should be looking for intimacy from somebody other than their partner, it is bound to end badly.

I recently broke my collar bone and due to the side that is broken and the side of the bed that DP sleeps on, I'm finding it very hard to cuddle up to him in bed. I took this for granted before and never gave it much thought but it is really making me feel odd not being able to do it. Also due to the pain I'm in DP is avoiding touching me as much because he has knocked it/ put his arm round me and pulled it etc a few times by accident. Not having the touching and closeness in bed or through the day is really taking it's toll on how I feel, I never realised what an effect something so simple could have on the dynamic of a relationship and I'm really struggling with it. I know it sounds silly and it won't be forever!
I think physical contact that does not lead to sex and touching in general is really important and for me a big part of intimacy. I feel a very close connection with DP and I really like the small things that reinforce that bond.

mypoosmellsofroses Sat 13-Dec-14 19:44:47

Overslept, I know exactly what you mean, I had a shoulder condition and went 18 months without being able to snuggle up. On the plus side, my DH showered me and washed my hair every day of those 18 months.
For me intimacy is being totally relaxed, able to say anything at all without fear of being judged, and feeling safe. I have degrees of this with other people, esp family but none of them anywhere near the level of intimacy that I have with DH.

TheFriar Sat 13-Dec-14 20:11:29

Yep I found that not being able to touch each other an issue too.
And yes hard to get that in any other context isn't it?

Windywenceslas Sat 13-Dec-14 20:21:07

It's those little moments between a couple that take you beyond just being friends/flat mates etc. it's holding hands, knowing looks, a touch as you pass each other, a hug, a cuddle, everything beyond that. Without the little moments during the day, for me sex is less appealing.

overslept Sat 13-Dec-14 20:28:17

mypoosmellsofroses You DP sounds lovely grin. 18 month is such a long time, it must have been really hard. Glad you are alright now. I'm managing a bath/shower on my own but DP currently has to help me get shirts on and off. He's been a total angel about it, last night I hardly slept due to the pain and I just couldn't get comfortable so today while I had a sleep he cleaned the whole house and did loads of laundry as well as went out to collect logs for the fire. I don't know what I'd do without him.

overslept Sat 13-Dec-14 20:29:14


Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now