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What do I look for in a counsellor?

(6 Posts)
Paddlingduck Fri 12-Dec-14 18:20:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dirtybadger Fri 12-Dec-14 18:32:04

Accreditation with the BACP. Look at what qualifications they have, and experience.
I've never had counselling so my knowledge only goes as far as knowing a few people with accreditation (they qualified through a Foundation Degree and then registered..not sure what that involved). Go through an agency/trust/charity who specifically hire/pay counsellors in this area maybe, if that's even possible (it is in other areas)

Andro Fri 12-Dec-14 18:40:40

Once you have looked at qualifications, look for experience and don't be afraid to ask potential therapists questions. The other important thing is that just because a therapist is qualified, experienced and has a great doesn't mean they are the right therapist for you! Look for someone you feel safe with, someone you feel actually hears you - if the fit isn't right then change.

elsabelle Fri 12-Dec-14 18:56:02

I am having counselling at the moment due to my mum passing away very suddenly and my fiance leaving me for someone else a week after the funeral. Its a hideous time and counselling is definitely helping me to cope.

I agree with Andro that you need to find someone who is a good fit for you personality wise. I tried 2 counsellors before my current one, but have now been seeing this one for 4 months. It depends on you, but as i am quite lost and overwhelmed at the moment i need someone who is fairly parental, who listens but also reminds me how well i'm doing and gives me practical strategies and suggestions.

Good luck, hope it helps x

pinkfrocks Fri 12-Dec-14 19:41:02

elsa I thought the whole point of counselling was not give strategies or suggestions- but to ask questions so the client see the answers themselves.

I have 3 good friends who are BACP snr counsellors / psychotherapists / supervisor, and although they cannot talk about their work in detail we have discussed boundaries they work within etc- and they are not supposed to advise.

I'd be concerned that your counsellor is being too directive and as you say' parental' which is not their role.

Have you considered this?

elsabelle Fri 12-Dec-14 20:03:18

Thanks pinkfrocks. Sorry perhaps i didnt explain very well. I mean she makes little suggestions like "could you plan an activity for every evening after work to help keep yourself busy?" or "how about making a memory box of things that remind you of happy times with your Mum".

She does mainly listen but she also reinforces how well i'm doing with little coping suggestions which is really what i need right now as i feel so lost.

I found the other counsellors didnt really say anything at all which all felt a bit pointless.

I think it probably totally depends on what works for each individual. A lot of my issues are to do with bereavement so maybe that's slightly different.

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