Bit of back story - my brother and his wife have been together as long as I've been with my DP (7 years) literally met within months of each other. DP & I have 2 DC's, Brother & SIL have none but have been trying since they met. They are now desperate for a baby and have pretty much given up getting pregnant themselves and came round a few days ago to ask me if I would consider being a surrogate for them. His sperm, her egg and I would purely be the womb - very Phoebe from friends.
I thought for a day or 2 and discussed with DP but have since told them I won't do it.
My reasons -
- I'm not great at being pregnant, always have health issues, 1st pregnancy I was very anaemic and had 2 blood transfusions and had morning sickness for the whole 9 months, in my 2nd pregnancy I had low blood pressure and kept fainting, 3rd pregnancy (which ended in miscarriage) I had HG and was hospitalised 4 times in 11 weeks
Which brings me to my 2nd point in that I had a miscarriage in September and just don't feel that emotionally I could deal with another pregnancy, particularly one that wouldn't even result in a baby for me! I'm scared I would grieve for losing a baby all over again.
- I almost died giving birth to DD, my second child, so would be considered a high risk pregnancy and would be terrified of something happening again
So after discussing all of the above it just wouldn't be fair to my family if something happened or if I was ill for 9 months, what about my own children?
So I said no to my brother, he accepted it and I thought all was fine until I heard that my SIL was (drunkenly) being quite nasty about it. She was apparently saying the only reason I won't do it is because if they have a baby all the attention won't be on me and my children anymore! I mean what the actual fuck!?!
So to the point of my post, Should I confront her and tell her that I'm really upset by her comments and that she's asking something HUGE of me and I'm well within my own rights to say no and she's being a bit of an arse?! Or just let it go? WWYD?
...sorry for mammoth post by the way!