Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Inappropriate photos of son *possible trigger*

(220 Posts)
Letmeeatcakecakecake Thu 11-Dec-14 17:50:02

Omg I'm in shock.

I'm not with my sons father. My son is 5.

He just casually told me that his daddy took a picture of his butt and sent it to someone.

I asked him how he was standing and he showed me that he was laying on his back with his knees drawn to his chest and his anus exposed.

I'm shaking and in shock. What do I do? Shall I report it to the police?

Allice Thu 11-Dec-14 17:50:46

Absolutely, report it straight away.

Mulligrubs Thu 11-Dec-14 17:51:46

Yes, report it

PotteringAlong Thu 11-Dec-14 17:51:48

Yes. Report it this minute

Allice Thu 11-Dec-14 17:52:50

Sorry, sent too soon. Must be a terrible shock for you but you have no option but to report, what a terrible thing for his father to have done, he wouldn't be getting anywhere near his children in future if I were you.

Stay strong.

Darquesse Thu 11-Dec-14 17:52:52

I would report this. Even if it turns out to be nothing you cant take that chance.

How well do you get on with you ex?

How often does he see your son.

Joysmum Thu 11-Dec-14 17:52:59

Do it now. You can't take the risk sad

DixieNormas Thu 11-Dec-14 17:54:57

Yes I think you need to talk to ss or the police about it

duckwalk Thu 11-Dec-14 17:55:35

Report it asap, and keep your son away from your ex in the meantime. Kids can have vivid imaginations at times but this is quite detailed. When it comes to your children you can't be too careful.
Hugs x

MildDrPepperAddiction Thu 11-Dec-14 17:56:17

Report it and do not let him near your son until this is resolved.

3littlebadgers Thu 11-Dec-14 18:00:05

Yes I would report it, you can't take the risk and I can't imagine how there could be a misunderstanding over this unless maybe worried about possible thread worm perhaps? In any case if there was a possible worry I am sure he wold have discussed it with you, the fact it has only come to light through your DC would ring alarm bells to me. Sorry you are going through this x

Letmeeatcakecakecake Thu 11-Dec-14 18:18:15

I feel sick. Reported it to 101 and waiting for someone to call back to make an appointment to see us.

- relationship with father is on off ok. There's been issues before a while back where my son told me his father showed him a video of someone taking a poo on someone else. Again entirely inappropriate.

- he sees his dad generally every other weekend

- we've not discussed thread worms at all.

I'm fuming with my mum, as soon as he said it she told him that that's bad and that he shouldn't let anyone take a photo of his bottom. I immediately interjected and said that's not his fault, he didn't know.

I want to ask him further questions but think it's best that maybe I leave it for now and let the police talk to him about it. I don't want to make a big deal about it in front of him or let him feel like he did anything wrong.

Still can't believe my mum reacted like that.

YonicSleighdriver Thu 11-Dec-14 18:22:26

Yes I think it is best to wait for police as the evidence is clearer that way ie that it didn't come from you leading him or anything. Am not a professional though. Poor you and DS.

Letmeeatcakecakecake Thu 11-Dec-14 18:23:51

I feel sick. I keep thinking back to an article I read about the work the IWF do when they're trying to pin point predators through the indecent images and they said the most heart breaking part is that sometimes the children are smiling media we the perpetrator is someone they trust and they have no idea they're being abused

LittleRedRidingHoodie Thu 11-Dec-14 18:24:33

DO NOT speak to your ex about it. Report it to the police. They are likely to seize his phone, computer etc, if you confront him he has chance to clean up / destroy his hard drive. You're so very lucky your son told you at this stage. Your poor thing. I hope you've reported it already

Letmeeatcakecakecake Thu 11-Dec-14 18:25:55

I what's apped him and it didn't deliver, I deleted the message and blocked him as a contact, hopefully that stops it going through.

3littlebadgers Thu 11-Dec-14 18:27:49

Well done you, I love the way you are being very sensitive to his emotions. He has done nothing wrong and little ones this age are so willing to please. My dd is the same age. Give him a great big hug and tell him you are proud of him for being honest. Any idea how long it will be until the police speak to him?

fluffling Thu 11-Dec-14 18:28:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EEVEElution Thu 11-Dec-14 18:31:18

Absolutely report it, it seems you have done already. Glad it's been caught early but so sorry sad

LittleRedRidingHoodie Thu 11-Dec-14 18:32:23

Is ringing 101 appropriate? I honestly don't know. Did they get HOW serious this is? Don't tell any friends who may alert him.

Letmeeatcakecakecake Thu 11-Dec-14 18:33:43

I just know that if he feels he has done wrong and if anyone is mad or if anyone is in trouble then he will bottle it up. I can't have him feeling like that.

I've told him the underwear rule before. There's always been a problem of him being very rude and flashing his bum and willy and trying to show off his bum hole which is why I broached it and now I'm starting to wonder if his whole rudeness stems from some sick form of positive reinforcement that he's received from being so compliant in doing so before.

I feel like my whole world is crashing down. Yesterday he found out he is going to become a big brother and had in his own words 'the best day of my life' and now this???

LittleRedRidingHoodie Thu 11-Dec-14 18:34:04

Just want to second the well done for not grilling your son. I was abused by some peers when I was young. For me easily the most traumatic aspect of it as the grilling my mum gave me. I really felt like I'd done something awful and can still remember the feel if the cold radiator pressed into my back as she demanded answers

Heels99 Thu 11-Dec-14 18:34:19

Littleredridinghoddie, 101 is the non emergency police number, what else would the op do?

Micah Thu 11-Dec-14 18:34:25

Well done for reporting. Showing videos of pooing and now this photo makes me think the next steps may be even worse.

He needs stopping now.

Letmeeatcakecakecake Thu 11-Dec-14 18:34:35

The lady at 101 said they they will have someone see me within 48 hours and if the police feel it's necessary to upgrade this to serious then they will have someone out to me ASAP.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now