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Controlling?

(10 Posts)
okeydonkey Wed 10-Dec-14 21:41:04

My DP and I have moved a few times this year due to various reasons. When moving 3 months ago my DP told me there was no room in the garage for the only thing that was mine in garage, my sun loungers.
I said I'd really like to keep them. He said that you never use them. I said I don't have time but I'd really love to over summer and maybe one day.
He told me to sit on them now, I said I'm busy with toddler. He said see you never use them they are a waste of space. Then left the chairs outside of garage.
Forward 3 months to now, he just said I'm sorting out garage this weekend and your sun loungers are rusty so need throwing. I said that it wasn't fair that they weren't looked after. It turned into an argument where he said I need to stop having a mental breakdown everytine I talk to him (as I had started crying). He then says stop shouting , listen to you.
I just can't work out if this is awful behaviour on his part or if I should just get rid of them. I've stormed up stairs as I'm so cross.

okeydonkey Wed 10-Dec-14 22:08:05

He's come up and apologised. I'm so aware that he was brought up with a belittling sexist father and worry I compare this with DP

Cabrinha Wed 10-Dec-14 22:16:47

Why didn't you put them in the garage yourself?
It's very hard to say anything based on a single incident - though I'm guessing there are more.
But I'd say a relationship is not good if you can't choose what goes in your own garage confused

okeydonkey Wed 10-Dec-14 22:55:06

Thanks for reply. Yes I think there's lots more of the same behaviour but can't convey in just a post. Think lines become blurred and I never know what's normal or not anymore.
I didn't, as I feel I have no say in what goes in the garage, but he would take them out if I did.

Drumdrum60 Wed 10-Dec-14 22:56:37

I know exactly what you mean. With me it was all about parasols and there never being enough room in the car when we were going on holiday with small babies. This happened every year. It's funny now but frustrating at the time.
Yes he is a controlling bastard.

okeydonkey Thu 11-Dec-14 08:37:46

Yes drum I get that too, there's always no room for something I want to take on holiday and if I explain why I want it he will laugh

YackityUnderTheMistletoe Thu 11-Dec-14 08:43:41

If it were me, in my relationship, I would start picking on what my DH had in the garage that was so important, or what he had in the car that was so important that MY things couldn't go in there.

The fact that you didn't, and feel that you can't, says a LOT. He's a controlling bastard I'm afraid....

Joysmum Thu 11-Dec-14 08:59:01

My DH isn't controlling but keeps making comments about needing to sort out all the crap in the garage as we have no space and mentioning my 3 boxes of 'horse crap' out there (which is 3 plastic boxes stacked).

My response is to point out tghat, apart from my motorbike (he has one too) that's all I have in the garage and that if he bothered to tidy up after himself as he went along he wouldn't need to devote a day to sorting out the garage!

CogitOIOIO Thu 11-Dec-14 09:06:05

Picking fights over insignificant things. ... pettiness..... can be an example of controlling behaviour it happens on a chronic basis . It can also be plain old bad tempered tetchiness especially if there's stress involved (house move). Context is everything

Moniker1 Thu 11-Dec-14 09:28:42

Two sunloungers don't fill a garage.

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