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Help me sustain no contact please

(8 Posts)
YoBitch Wed 10-Dec-14 13:01:17

Please can you remind me of all the good reasons why I shouldn't contact my cheating boyfriend. I only found out on Sunday and I went NC straight away, but he hasn't tried to contact me anyway and I'm starting to feel desperate. I don't want to contact him in that logically I know it can't help, but emotionally I feel all over the place..plagued by thoughts of him with other women and that he doesn't give a shit. It's so hard to bear these feelings. Please help me not to buckle, I feel so miserable sad

Happymum1985 Wed 10-Dec-14 13:09:41

Do NOT contact him. At the moment you are feeling understandably low, but contacting him will NOT make you feel better. He has your number and hasnt even ATTEMPTED to reach out and speak to you. Why the hell would you then chase him?? Trust me, the best way to come out of this is to hold a dignified silence, put yourself back together, and then emerge phoenix like, with a new sense of self, new hair, and probably a new man! Pow!!! Best revenge ever.

YoBitch Wed 10-Dec-14 13:34:40

I think I want to contact him to get some relief from this pain. I keep getting to a place where I almost don't care if the pain ends up being more long drawn out - I just want some relief right now.

HumblePieMonster Wed 10-Dec-14 13:37:31

Don't contact him.

You've done the right thing. Six months from now you'll be proud of yourself.

Quitelikely Wed 10-Dec-14 13:47:08

Keep your pride and self respect intact.

You will contact him and he won't respond, how will you feel then? I know - a hundred times worse!

You are well rid, get back onto the dating scene.

The only healer is time, wine, chocolate and maybe sex with someone else

elsabelle Wed 10-Dec-14 22:30:36

I feel you YB. Can only give my experience which is that i kept ON and ON contacting exP in the hope that he'd see sense / change his mind / realise he still loved me, but all it did was push him further away and hurt me more in the process. He repeatedly said "i dont want you", "i dont feel the same any more" etc which obvs did wonders for my self esteem! ;)

I finally got the message and stopped. Although i'm still devastated, at least i am starting off on the path to recovery!

Dont beat yourself up if you do end up contacting him, but try not to if you possibly can xx

Drumdrum60 Wed 10-Dec-14 23:05:19

Have you ever received a text or many texts and thought oh for goodness sake and ignored them. I've done that.
You do not want someone to do that to you. Don't give him the power.

NorthLDNgal Wed 10-Dec-14 23:11:05

It's hard but you have to be strong on this one. The payoff is that you keep your dignity. If you care about him seeing you in a positive light, no contact is the best way forward, but really having no contact is to benefit you and giving yourself time to heal from the shock of the break up and the loss. It's like having to swallow foul tasting medicine, but eventually that dull ache will reduce and you will discover new things about you without your ex in the frame. When you feel like contacting him, listen to a song instead or call a friend to talk about how you feel. Good luck!

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