I'm with a really lovely guy.. been with some not so nice ones in the past, but now with him and recently moved in together.
He is so so nice, but I cannot except that someone can be and I am having huge struggles coming to terms with it and I am either putting up huge defensive walls or trying to constantly find problems with him/us.
When I met him I had just started seeing a counsellor about childhood abuse, which I never had when I was younger and felt I really wanted to try and 'get on' with my life and feel more normal, I find commiting very hard and always want to run at the first sign of problems, whether this is part of my childhood I don't know, I wish I did.
So I started counselling but £40 every week go so expensive that I struggled financially and had to stop after about 6 sessions, I feel like I am desperate for someone to talk to, just so I can understand why I feel like I do sometimes, and why I just don't feel normal. Its always like I'm outside a window looking in at everyone having a lovely time, and I cant quite get there!
I am so scared I am going to destruct my relationship, I haven't spoke to dp about this, he knows the very basic and that I was seeing a counsellor but thats all.
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Relationships
Crap at relationships! And this one I want to work!!! poss trigger ........
6 replies
cornishpasty89 · 10/12/2014 10:52
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