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Aargh, remind me why I shouldn't text him!

(14 Posts)
avocadogreen Tue 09-Dec-14 20:22:09

Split from the bloke I was dating about 4 weeks ago... we had been seeing each other for 5 months. It was sort of a mutual end I guess.. initiated by him saying he wasn't sure if he loved me after all (after declaring love quite early on in the relationship). In the end I was the one who said well if that's how you feel then maybe we should end it now, mainly because he was annoying me with all his indecisiveness. Even then he seemed unsure, didn't want to take his stuff as it 'gave him an excuse to see me again..'

After 2 weeks of silence I texted him and we exchanged a few messages, I said he should come over to pick up his stuff and to have a catch up, after all we were supposed to still be friends. He agreed, said he would let me know which day that week was good for him.

That was last week. Since then, nothing. But he's still on FB, liking and commenting on things I post. God, I sound like a teenager! And the truth is I really really miss him. Until he suddenly had a wobble things were really good.

If he was still into me he'd text, right? Fucker sad

minklundy Tue 09-Dec-14 20:27:38

I am in a very similar boat. I don't know.

Go through your scenarios
You text, he replies...
You text, he ignores...
You don't text....

If he hadn't had the wobble would you have split anyway?

avocadogreen Tue 09-Dec-14 20:35:53

That's why I haven't done it... I could text and say 'oi I thought you were coming round?' and I expect he would probably reply... but then I'd feel like I'd caved in. Of course what I really want to say is 'I miss you, you twat, have you changed your mind yet?' But that would obviously NOT be the best thing to do...

InfinitySeven Tue 09-Dec-14 20:40:07

If he was into you, he'd be jumping at the chance to see you. I'd try my hardest not to text... I think this is it, sadly.

minklundy Tue 09-Dec-14 20:44:59

You are probably right. I texted mine earlier and I probably should not have but I just am not good at leaving things alone. I need answers one way or the other even if they are ones I don't want to hearsad

MrsMerrywinkle Tue 09-Dec-14 20:45:38

I'd text: "come to my place at 7pm on Friday (or whenever). My sister (or someone) will be here to let you in. Otherwise I will dispose of your stuff. Best wishes avocado

Tinks42 Tue 09-Dec-14 20:47:13

Im with Infinitiy here OP. You have given him an "opening" in case he was regretting things and he has clearly shown you he isn't interested. You don't need to spell anything out for him. He was dithering because he already wanted out. Sorry flowers Dump his things in the bin.

avocadogreen Tue 09-Dec-14 21:08:42

I think you're all right. What a fucker. minklundy I totally get why you texted, but in my experience often you don't get answers anyway, I went through that with my exH. Which is why I'm trying to avoid putting myself through that this time (though I clearly failed miserably by texting in the first place!)

minklundy Tue 09-Dec-14 21:35:33

Well I did v well for a bit. Nc. Then texted because he had been ill. He was initially quite keen to stay in touch because he missed me (we split because of other stuff in his life that he wasn't coping with and he felt he was not spending enough time with me as a result) but since then on and off and I get too anxious in between hearing from him.

i would like to have it out and find out how he feels but he cannot talk about it just now because his head is messed up.

I should just drop it but we had a good thing if everything else hadn't happened. And I confess, I am a fixer. I always think things can be mended.blush

Tinks42 Tue 09-Dec-14 21:40:48

when are you going to learn that his head isnt "messed up" when are you going to learn that they arent interested? If i really liked someone then they would make my "head" feel better. STOP fooling yourselves.

brokenhearted55a Wed 10-Dec-14 08:10:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pagwatch Wed 10-Dec-14 08:19:23

It's really simple. If you spend your time wondering if he really likes you or not then he probably doesn't.

PamDooveOrangeJoof Wed 10-Dec-14 09:05:06

Brokenhearted those are two massive red flags right there - why are you seeing him?

brokenhearted55a Wed 10-Dec-14 09:12:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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