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I shall be alone with my DS for Christmas Day etc almost the whole of the school holidays. Not really looking forward to that (again) Anybody else fancy admitting to being alone?

(96 Posts)
SoleSource Tue 09-Dec-14 16:07:10

I have Sky TV this year

DS is severely disabled.

caramelsky Tue 09-Dec-14 16:09:07

I'll be alone! I have no family other than one brother. He is a nurse and is working over Christmas.

Turkey meal for one! Merry Christmas! fsmile

How do you feel about it? I am absolutely fine with it but find it a bit embarrassing when other people react with shock or worse, pity.

SoleSource Tue 09-Dec-14 16:13:11

Bit lonely tbh I am a social person but Christmas with my estranged family was awful. Silent annoyance at each other, issues hanging in the air, forced jollity and an insultive, unpredictable, unwelcoming nutty Father. Glad I do not have that anymore grin fook em.

Yes it is embarrassing and I do not want pity, ugh!

The silence and not having anybody to talk to get me down.

yummytummy Tue 09-Dec-14 16:20:20

I am alone too just me and dcs. Their father (stbxh) may make an appearance which I am dreading quite frankly but will put up with for the kids.

Silence gets to me too. Its just another day to get through. Really hate all the happy perfect family crap on the ads this time of year. Its unrealistic as theres probably more people not in a family unit than in one

Allalonenow Tue 09-Dec-14 16:22:54

I'll be on my own Sole, I'm stocking up with things to do, DVDs and the like.

caramelsky Tue 09-Dec-14 16:24:23

Just recognise them as silly. I like Christmas just for pretty lights and nice songs and daft films. That's IT. It doesn't need to be perfect. It is what it is.

My Dad died in May. It's hard as I will miss him but to be honest he was a bit of a Scrooge - people keep saying that it's my first Christmas without my dad and I agree it's sad but this is the man who would try to buy your gift in the January sales - "you don't mind do you?" Haha!

fakenamefornow Tue 09-Dec-14 16:25:47

If you don't want to be with just the two of you then don't be. There is usually loads of stuff to do over the Christmas holidays. Invite somebody to spend Christmas with you. Admittedly it might be a bit late now but you could try to contact one of those charities that match elderly people with families to spend Christmas with. How old is you son?

SoleSource Tue 09-Dec-14 16:33:44

Christmas comes too early for me in terms of Christmas advertising in fooking November...yummy Just reminds me too early of what is coming..

Allalonenow Sky TV for me smile

caramelsky so sorry about your Dad thanks x

fake what stuff is there to do? My friends are with their own families and get drunk I can't take DS there,

Will try and take DS to the cinema as he loves listening to the movie but as he is disabled people stare and I try and avoid people as it plays on my mind and depresses me.

Just me and ds (autistic) too so know how you feel,I'm used to it but always wish I could have a big family Christmas but then I want one of the awesome ones in the movies where they are all happy and jolly and I want to sing carols around a piano,go shouting Merry Christmas to everyone in the street,running through thick snow as I do it,have the giant house just so I can have a 10 foot + tree,have a family trip to church for the carol service,have everyone (not just me and ds) happy to wear dodgy Christmas jumpers,all play games,build a snowman and have a snowball fight and have a gorgeously wrapped present in a little box under the tree just for me blah blah blah

sighs can you tell I've never really had a family Christmas?! LOL

cestlavielife Tue 09-Dec-14 16:41:12

how old is your son?
what about a local community Christmas meal for elderly that kind of thing? ypur ds could sit and watch an d you could help out?

fakenamefornow Tue 09-Dec-14 16:43:28

Christmas markets to go to.
Tree lightings
Pantomime
Loads of churchy things if your into that, even if you're not people are still very welcoming there
Christmas swims

I know all of these things are a lot more fun with somebody else, but you can make more of Christmas if you want to.

Where about do you live?
How old is your son?
And what things can't he do due to his disability?

Do you know any friends/neighbours/acquaintances who are in the same boat you could get together with? Somebody to drink wine with and complain about how much you both hate Christmas could do both of you the world of good. smile

SoleSource Tue 09-Dec-14 16:44:29

Glad it isn't just me smile I really do appreciate the replies. Our local community centre has closed down. My DS is 16 and blind aswell as other disabilities.

SunnySomer Tue 09-Dec-14 16:45:07

I won't be alone this year, but have been previously. The worst bit, as a PP mentioned, was pitying looks from other people when they heard. The actual being alone was fine - I had a nice meal, relaxed, went for a walk. Just had a day doing things I enjoyed.
Is your son able to walk? Would you be able to get out and get some fresh air?
Or does he have a friend he'd like to invite? (Or does that become ludicrously hard work? I can imagine it might).
I hope it goes ok x

SoleSource Tue 09-Dec-14 16:45:29

I don't hate Christmas at all, I just get lonely.

SoleSource Tue 09-Dec-14 16:47:26

DS can walk but not if the ground is icy as he is totally blind, no speech, severely Autistic, wears pads, can't feed himself etc etc etc

SoleSource Tue 09-Dec-14 16:49:15

His friends are his class mates, they are severely disabled too and as the school bus fetches him to and from school I do not know the parents and they have their own families.

Just wanted reassurance I wasn't alone being alone over Christmas .

Ah,SoleSource is the loneliness because you know others are enjoying time together?They won't be online in the evening to chat and you know you'll end up bombarded with Facebook posts about what everyone got,what they done,ten million fake pose photos and possible questions of ' what did you get?' 'What did you do?' and you never tell anyone your only presents were from yourself or that you're alone because you know they'll go all pitying or weird on you like you're some kind out low down out cast who needs the world's sympathy which makes you think people see you as sad and pathetic?

Or is it just me who gets like that?blush

caramelsky Tue 09-Dec-14 16:51:28

That sounds so hard, Sole. You must adore him but honestly, seriously I can only imagine how difficult and intense caring for him must be.

I think often people suggest elderly people (grin) or homeless charities as the way forward but the truth is Christmas and other holidays often just expose our own weaknesses. In a way it's a relief that I can just be honest and say my parents are dead and my brother works so I'm just staying at home. (Although I will walk my friend's dog with her. Dogs are great for this sort of thing, especially other people's mad energetic collie pups!)

I regularly feel like I don't mind Christmas alone but other people do and that's the really tough bit. It's okay just to find being alone tough sometimes not because it's Christmas, I do x

caramelsky Tue 09-Dec-14 16:52:01

Psst where are you Sole?

SunnySomer Tue 09-Dec-14 16:53:47

Oh Soul. Definitely not.
How about a Salvation Army carol concert? I used to go to the Blackpool one when I lived there, and it was always lovely - outdoors, so not too loud or confined. Am I right in thinking you're in Birmingham? Might there be something similar going on in the city centre?

SoleSource Tue 09-Dec-14 16:59:38

Sorry, I'm in Birmingham. DS is fast asleep now after coming home from school. He loves his bed. I'll awaken him soon for his food.

SoleSource Tue 09-Dec-14 17:01:14

TripTrap yeah.

Well,I'll be on to chat at some point at Christmas.We're both in a similar boat (although,have to say,my autistic son clearly hates sleeping!!!) So at least you know you're not alone in that sense smile

Guilianna Tue 09-Dec-14 17:06:38

I am alone with my dc as a preference this year. We are going away and spending Xmas on the beach. I think it's easier to have a pleasant experience if you forget about the social expectations and do what you enjoy most. In my case, walks, reading, music and a recuperative period of being thoroughly antisocial (maybe some crap telly too)

SoleSource Tue 09-Dec-14 17:13:05

I'd love a Christmas beach holiday, I hope you have a lovely time Guiliana

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