We had a couple who we are friendly with round for dinner a few nights ago. DH and the man went off to look at some things in the house and the woman told me that she is desperately unhappy.
She comes from another country and gave up everything to move here with her husband (she is much older than me, mid fifties). I don't want to give too much information because some of it may be quite identifying but:
- they have some money troubles; - she is very homesick and misses her kids; - she never cries or tells her husband how she feels because she feels she has to put on a front; - she is quite frightened of him - she says he is intimidating and can be aggressive; - her inlaws think she is mental.
I am rather concerned. I suggested that they try marriage counselling but she said that he wouldn't consider it. If she told him how she felt, she thinks he'd tell her to pack her bags and drive to the airport.
What, if anything, should I do? Would it be appropriate to suggest she contacts women's aid? I want to help but at the same time, I am reluctant to involve myself in their marriage. They are more acquaintances than friends, are much older and I could imagine the man turning nasty. The woman was very drunk by the end of our evening and I am not sure she will remember all that she said.
The man has never been anything but nice to me but I am uncomfortable around him. I told my FIL that I didn't want to be alone with him but didn't know why.
Advising her to contact Womens Aid sounds appropriate if she is frightened. If she's in her fifties I'd also assume her DCs are reasonably grown-up and in a position to help her if/when she goes back to her home country.