I've said this before, but I'm baffled as to why it's so backwards, violence is a symptom of "emotional" abuse and control, it's not like the EA and control is something different or lesser. EA/control ARE the abuse, the violence is just a tool to keep you under control.
Oh yes what an important point. Yep one thing being totally dependent on someone and unable to leave, but when they're dependent on you, it seems harder again, because you're effectively abandoning them. But it's usually the case that they can find someone else to leech off soon enough
Sorry AF, but codependency is just yet another form of victim blaming. A shit is a shit - nothing complicated about it - the only complication is the shit they leave you in: financial, mental, social, physical ... We were just trying live like anyone else - with a partner we never dreamed was a shit.
I caught the end of it and must watch it again. I thought the woman running the support group made some interesting points and I liked her list of the ways in which an abusive person exerts control.... aka torture methods.
Watched it. '80 women die of domestic violence each year...' was particularly chilling. The man featured in the programme planned his violence towards his wife, making arrangements for her to be absent from her voluntary work before he hit her.
The a users reaction to the police was familiar to me- Also- him telling his wife- you re going to get me locked up you are. My fw has even told my dd that I ll Do that to him. It was all very chilling and got me rethinking my exit plan as I actually feel a bit scared seeing that. But also- very angry- seeing it laid bare like that.
Yes the support woman and also the police psychologist were really excellent.