Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

When does it start to get better?

(4 Posts)
officeworker Mon 08-Dec-14 19:22:30

As you guys know, I broke up with exDP two months ago.

We we're still in the same house until four weeks ago and we haven't seen each other since then. We moved out separately and the hurt seems to get worse every single day.

A friend told me he was on a dating website (without a picture) and I asked him, he swore he didn't want to meet anyone else but didn't even say why he was on it. He's never been back on it since. He moved out first and took all of our photographs and my t-shirt and a jacket I always wore around the house. And also a DVD of a movie which has very special memories for us. That's the only thing that keeps me going thinking he may care about me still as he took those things.

After the flat inspection when we moved out last week (which he attended, I didn't want to go as seeing him would hurt too much) he deleted me from all social media and went as far as blocking me on Facebook. He will text if it's to do with the flat but nothing else. I sent a message on Whatsapp when drunk which he read and then re-read again half an hour later. The next day I mailed about the flat and CC'd him in on, he came on Whatsapp again after not being on since the messages the previous night. No idea why I'm telling anyone this as I guess everything I over analyse as a sign.

Since four weeks ago nothing I do seems to take my mind off him, sport, work, seeing friends. I just end up misreable and crying every single time. I feel like I haven't had any closure, he walked out of the house to work four weeks ago and I haven't seen him since. If I text he would be perfectly polite back if it was about domestic matters but I can't ask anything. I wrote an e-mail to send him today, and just can't do it. I'm so proud I've gone without attempting to contact him for a while (only when drunk) that I don't want to ruin it now. I just feel like everything is in a rut, nothing makes it better. I don't want to meet anyone else, I want him back. And I have no idea how he feels about absolutely anything, whenever I text saying it feels like he hates me, he says I have no idea of how he thinks or feels.

Well aware this is going to sound crazy, I just want it to go away. I wish I couldn't give a toss like he seems to. But then I don't know if he does because he took things of ours. I'm just confused, I want to feel ok and don't have a clue how!

CogitOIOIO Mon 08-Dec-14 19:41:33

Four weeks is still early days. Sorry you're struggling but you're doing the right things by distracting yourself and keeping busy. Eventually it gets better but it's a slow process. Meanwhile, ask people not to tell you what he's doing. They're not helping

officeworker Mon 08-Dec-14 20:24:56

She didn't mean harm by it, I think I was talking about him and she toyed with telling me. He's never lied to me ever so I've no reason not to believe him, maybe he was feeling lonely. I don't know.

I've just sat here for two hours crying, wanting to send this really long text to him I've had wrote out since lunchtime and just can't bring myself to do it. I feel like anything has to come from him, not me. For all I know he could have met someone else, or he could miss me as much as I miss him. The only thing I have is him taking my things and all of our photographs, I don't get why he'd do that if I didn't mean anything.

cedricsneer Mon 08-Dec-14 20:30:58

I'm really sorry, you sound deeply distressed. I really think it is hugely unhelpful clinging on to tiny shreds of hope. He has had plenty of opportunity to regret things and yet he has gone.

Please focus on yourself and keeping busy/building your self esteem. Look after yourself and nurture yourself so that you can be self sufficient.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now