Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Cheating Boyfriend

(11 Posts)
YoBitch Mon 08-Dec-14 01:25:24

I found out today that my boyfriend has been texting another woman for a couple of months because he "wanted someone to say nice things to him". I've ended the relationship as I know myself - I would be paranoid and anxious around trusting him again and it would be unbearable. Plus he hasn't really taken responsibility for his actions and how hurtful it is to find out he's been lying to me for months. Thinks I'm overreacting.

I feel quite desperate when I think about getting over this. How will I cope and not give in and contact him when I miss him. I can't believe it's over - it won't sink in. How could he do this? We are both quite sensitive people and he knows how much this would hurt me - he was incredibly hurt by his ex in a similar fashion. I'm 34 and I feel despair at getting over this and starting again, let alone getting married and having a child. sad

Itsallovernowtheend Mon 08-Dec-14 01:56:09

Because deep down you know you are worth more.

At 34 you shouldn't be desperate. There really is plenty of time to meet someone who really respects and loves you.

badbaldingballerina123 Mon 08-Dec-14 02:16:44

I'm sorry this has happened to you. No one deserves this and its made worse when the person who inflicted the pain knows full well what it's like. Re the overreacting accusation , he is busy minimizing at this stage and it will be a long time before he takes responsibility for it.

I've never heard anyone say they regret leaving a cheater.

MrsMerrywinkle Mon 08-Dec-14 04:19:46

Go NC; get busy. This too shall pass.

Joysmum Mon 08-Dec-14 09:40:38

If he think you are over-reacting, this is further proof that you were right to end it.

He incapable of respecting your feelings and has a sense of entitlement to behave how he wants to if he feels like it. The fact he can't see that means that even if you did get back together, the moment he's unhappy you couldn't trust him to put your relationship first and know he's capable of cheating.

YoBitch Mon 08-Dec-14 10:37:53

Thank you. I have blocked him
on my phone although I can't decide if that makes me feel better or worse at the moment.

YoBitch Mon 08-Dec-14 10:42:15

Joysmum you are right, I wouldn't be able to trust him now and I know that's no way to live. Just feel
so shocked - I can't quite believe this is happening

newstart15 Mon 08-Dec-14 11:48:49

I think you have acted brilliantly and long term you won't regret this but it's so tough to let go of a relationship when the future looks uncertain. It's a shock to realise that the person we've invested time in is not who we deserve.

Trust that this is the right decision. I think people who cheat have a level of emotional immaturity and no insight which is why they can't take responsibility for their actions. My friend married a man who needed constant attention and when the children came along he was off with another woman as he just can't cope without focus on him.

You will get over him but it will take time so just take each day at a time.

elsabelle Mon 08-Dec-14 13:24:34

Sending love and hugs to you OP. This exact thing happened to me in July, i ended the relationship and moved out. If im honest i was expecting exP to chase after me and beg me back, but that didnt happen at all. He just expressed regret at having hurt me and then moved on to start seeing the OW. Its been very painful and i still feel like part of me is missing.

Hang in there, you will be ok and ultimately meet someone who loves you completely and would never hurt you in such an awful way. I am in my 30s too and feel anxious about staring over, finding a life partner to have a family with. Hopefully it will happen for both of us, but even if not there are still ways and means to have a family - i have a lovely friend who's 40 and took the difficult step of deciding to ave a baby alone and now she and baby couldnt be happier smile

YoBitch Mon 08-Dec-14 15:44:41

Elsabelle I'm sorry this has happened to you too. It's such a kick in the teeth.

He is quite emotionally immature. Needs lots of attention and support which I found quite overwhelming at times and not very attractive. I often felt like he needed me too much to be available to him and he could be overly insecure if I went out or didn't text him straight back.

I had gone off sex with him over the past few months but we had talked about it and I was hopeful it would change.

The thought of him getting together with the OW makes me feel sick. I don't believe he didn't meet here - when I asked him he looked away before saying no. He looked really shifty.

YoBitch Mon 08-Dec-14 15:47:04

her. not here

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now