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Age gaps

(9 Posts)
Ohnoitsgonewrong Mon 08-Dec-14 00:04:49

So it seems I've fallen into an affair with someone 17 years younger .
He's enjoying his life and seeing a few people , it's just sex with us although he seems to stay rather a lot .
A young girl is messaging me asking what's going on etc
Can this ever end well I'm wondering ?

CogitOIOIO Mon 08-Dec-14 00:12:11

'Fallen into an affair' probably needs more explanation - affair being a loaded term. Do you know who the young girl is? I don't think the age gap is the issue here so much. How much do you know about this person? Do you both want the same thing?

Ohnoitsgonewrong Mon 08-Dec-14 00:21:16

Well I work with him when we were away we started having sex and just carried on .
I'm getting divorced so don't really feel ready for anything much at the moment he also doesn't want a relationship .
We had some photos on Facebook and that's what the girl saw and started messaging me as she wants a relationship with him .
I'm just wondering if it's gonna end well

Ohnoitsgonewrong Mon 08-Dec-14 00:22:13

I've known him a few years previous to this he's actually in my business I'm his boss

NorthLDNgal Mon 08-Dec-14 00:35:42

From what you've said he sounds like an ego boost. If you're in the process of divorce and loss it can be easy to fall into these situations because it restores our feelings of attractiveness. You might find he is feeling more into it than he cares to admit. If you're not ready and cannot see a future with him it might be best to end it and let him go.

CogitOIOIO Mon 08-Dec-14 08:01:19

Don't screw your employee... Age is irrelevant. It's never a good idea to cross that boundary because, whether it ends or carries on, you're compromised. If you're already wondering about age, his other girlfriends and whether it's going to end well, then you've got misgivings. It's very easy to get sex without all of these other strings attached.

JaceyBee Mon 08-Dec-14 09:31:05

Age gaps are not necessarily an issue but how old is he? If he's like, 17 and you're 34 then that's kinda weird IMO. I'm seeing someone who's 11 years younger than me but he's 25 and very mature, I think it depends on the individuals involved to a large extent.

The girl messaging you I'm confused about, do you actually know her? If she's just some random girl who's trying to find out whether the guy she fancies is sleeping with you I would think she was very strange and stalkerish with no concept of boundaries! It's none of her business who he's sleeping with, she may want a relationship with him but we don't always get what we want do we?! Unless she is in fact his gf?

But I do agree with cog that it's not really a good idea to shit on your own doorstep. How do you feel about things?

kaykayblue Mon 08-Dec-14 10:47:56

This comes across as very mid life crisis I'm afraid (even if you aren't middle aged). I wouldn't have much respect for a man shagging a colleague half his age whilst going through a divorce either.

So you are shagging someone much younger than you, and a woman his own age is messaging you to ask what's going on?

Is regressing to 17 years old really going to help you right now?

If you aren't looking for a relationship, and don't see this guy as anything more than an ego boost,sorry, a temporary distraction, then why don't you just call it off before the shit hits the fan.

Ohnoitsgonewrong Mon 08-Dec-14 14:31:38

He's not 17,he's in his 20's .
The girl no I don't know her at all .
I just seem to have found myself in this situation somehow perhaps it is some kind of a crisis I'm not sure ?
I do like him though

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