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"Good to hear [your dd] talking openly about her life.."

(14 Posts)
ReallyBadParty Sun 07-Dec-14 20:47:29

How would you take this if a kind of very long term but slightly crap friend texted you this after 13 year old dd stayed with her for the night?

I am not sure it was kindly meant. Friend is a word and grammar fiend and unlikely to have phrased badly by accident.

dancestomyowntune Sun 07-Dec-14 20:48:54

Think I'd text her back and ask "oh? About what in particular?"

SassySugarCane Sun 07-Dec-14 20:49:07

what did she mean by that?

PhoebeMcPeePee Sun 07-Dec-14 20:49:12

I'd just reply "sorry not sure what you mean could you clarify please"

ReallyBadParty Sun 07-Dec-14 20:50:23

See, my (very mild mannered) dh said that, but I wasn't sure, didn't want to start a thing... But maybe I should just ask, maybe nothing!

sillymillyb Sun 07-Dec-14 20:54:23

I think she has phrased it because she wants you to ask, I think you may get back a passive aggressive dig if you do ask - but Maybe I'm just cynical!

ReallyBadParty Sun 07-Dec-14 20:55:03

I don't know what she meant. We have been friends for many many years and I and my family have helped her at times of great need. I have kind of realised recently that've this is not reciprocated, but didn't want to harbour a grudge such that dd couldn't go there.

Friend did say a couple of possibly snarky things when I dropped dd off, but it just ignored as don't want to be one of these people who Doesn't Speak to others!

But I am a but upset about this turn of phrase.

tharsheblows Sun 07-Dec-14 20:55:20

No, don't reply, she just wants to show how great it is that your dd is talking to her and she now knows stuff you don't. If you ask, I will put good money on either her saying something about not breaking your dd's trust by telling you or keeping things confidential or whatever or telling you bad things about your family that your dd has said (whichever is the more fun for her of the two).

I know someone like this. The thing is, the woman I know is a good person who cares about him a great deal and I'm actually very glad my son can talk to her... so I simply don't play her little reindeer games (which is more fun for me grin).

ReallyBadParty Sun 07-Dec-14 20:55:38

A bit, not a but.

ladygracie Sun 07-Dec-14 20:55:42

I would say exactly what phoebe suggested. You'd be completely reasonable to ask as its a strange thing to say imo.

Arven Sun 07-Dec-14 20:56:21

yeh, I think you're meant to think your daughter has been indiscreet.

I'd text back "it's a good job we've no secrets here then"

That'll drive her nuts. Then ask your daughter what on earth she said in her earshot.

minklundy Sun 07-Dec-14 21:01:17

Don't ask. It's what she wants.
Just reply saying something like "yes it is good" take the wind out of her sails.

sillymillyb Sun 07-Dec-14 21:01:52

That's true, can you reply, "I know, dd hasn't stopped telling me about everything you got up to and chatted about. Hope she didn't bend your ear too much about everything smile"

Then your sort of disarming her?

ReallyBadParty Sun 07-Dec-14 21:02:46

What I actually do is what tharsheblows said: just texted a smiley so as not to engage.

I think it will be something about me in particular as my family is a frigging nightmare which she knows but doesn't acknowledge as she is the one with problems. That's been fine over the years, but have kind of had enough now.

To let you all know I am not mad, when dd was going for MRI and grain scams for a a suspected tumour (thankfully not one!) I asked friend to come with me to hospital to help with my young ds and she said she might be able to but she hadn't booked her holiday with her bf yet and it might clash. I got over this after being very upset, and helped her through a really awful thing that happened to her at her request.

Sigh. Think I'll just leave it, but have known her, scarily, for over thirty yearsshock

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