DH and I have been together 4 years, married 2.5. We have a 14mo DD. We are in our thirties.
DH is a stand-up guy. Brilliant and loving and hilarious. He does loads around the house, shitwork etc. and co-parents our DD beautifully. We have a laugh and good conversation and get on quite well. I am very lucky I realise.
So why the fuck do I constantly think about leaving? I fantasize about having my own place (sharing care of DD obv). Being single and having my own space again.
I secretly look forward to him going away on work trips, am inwardly relieved when he decamps to the spare bedroom, and often find myself simply seething with irritation with him and have intense desires to run far away. I can't quite put my finger on why these feelings are so intense however:
-Our usually excellent sex life has gone down the tube since having dd. Tough birth, stitches, PIV still uncomfortable for me 14 months on, don't have much desire either as I'm still bfing. I have seen a gynae who said things will improve after I wean. We are still intimate but it's once a month/fortnight atm which isn't great. He's expressed his frustration with this but has never pressured me.
-He sometimes speaks to me like he's my dad teaching me a lesson. It's usually about domestic stuff and he's usually right, but it feels patronising as I do a lot and am generally pretty on top of things--reminders are fine but I don't need a lecture!
-if I show even the slightest hint of irritation at something he absolutely cannot stand it. I never lose my temper at him directly--it's more of a "FFS this stupid thing isnt working" and it's very minor. I'm not going around throwing tantrums. He'll get really upset and tell me to stop being so "aggressive". There have been too many instances where he's snapped at me for getting angry when I haven't even been angry!
So not major things, really. If you've read this far I'm sorry, this is probably really dull. I guess I'm just asking if it's normal to hate your husband even if you love them? Surely it isn't? Maybe I'm just not cut out for relationships and would be happier on my own and wondering if anyone else can relate or maybe has some insight.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Happily married but I want desperately to be alone.
LiDLrichardsPistachioSack · 07/12/2014 20:07
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.